Eager to take a walk in the dark

So, about the house being sold...

I promised the story, but I am still trying to figure it out myself.

Over the last several weeks I have had 'that' feeling again. The one I get when something big is about to change. To be completely honest and transparent, my initial reaction was not enthusiasm. It was more of a defiant declaration of, "Well you cant be asking us to adopt again 'cause this house is full!" Sigh. Sometimes I think my Father in Heaven feels the same way about me that I feel about Jacob when he wets his pants. "Oh will you ever grow out of this!?" (By the way, we are not starting another adoption if that is what you are interpreting here.)

Despite my little attitude problem I continued to pray and look for direction.

To make a rather long story short: it was not another crazy adoption I was feeling antsy about. It was a call to sell our home. I felt prompted to 'just look' at a couple properties before leaving town on our anniversary trip so that Brad and I could talk about the idea.

Poor Brad, I'm always up to something.

What I had prayed for most earnestly during the weeks of 'that feeling' was that I would not have to initiate this change. Our last two adoptions started with me. Brad was 100% on board later on, but the first efforts started with me. Brad works so hard for our family and has to put so much of himself into his efforts that he often doesn't 'look up' long enough to see anything other than work. Each time I came to him and said, "I feel really strongly that Heavenly Father is tapping us on the shoulder again." he would stop and pray and eventually come to the same conclusion I had. This time I was practically begging for God to tap Brad on the shoulder instead of me. I'm not sure exactly how it all went down, but my next journal entry makes it clear where we landed:

Journal entry Wednesday May 4, 2016:

"Our house is for sale. I am a mess today. What are we doing!? I asked Heavenly Father to get Brad on board with whatever it is He has in mind for us. Somehow Brad agreed and here we are. Our house is for sale."

Fortunately this was only a momentary freak out. Just hours after this journal entry we received an offer to purchase our house from a family that we know. Their offer included a personal letter that made it abundantly clear that Heavenly Father has had all of this in the works for a while. We had complete peace signing the paperwork to sell our home.

After the paperwork was signed we seemed to fall into a holding pattern. Everything up to that point happened so fast it hadn't even sunk in. We were not sure yet what the next step was. Before we listed our home there were more than a dozen pending properties and half a dozen active properties matching our criteria for our next home: 1-2 acres, small house (our intention was to build and later tear down the first structure so we didn't want to be wasteful), a location close enough to keep the kids in their same school. Possibilities seemed to be everywhere. There were 3 houses right out of the gate we asked to write offers on. We felt this was a strong indicator that we would be able to find what we were looking for.

But since the day our home sold 2 of the 3 homes we were ready to write offers on were already sold. And there were zero new properties in the areas we are looking. Zero. Silence. Crickets chirping. We made an offer on the last of the three active houses that was left before it went pending. It was exactly what we were looking for. But we were out-bid. Before our house sold there was an average of one new property a day meeting our criteria. After the house sold there was literally nothing. We were suddenly very confused.

We were not just being picky. That is literally ONE property in the entire county that matched our simple criteria. That is the one property we were out-bid on.

Silence is hard.

Waiting is hard.

Trusting is hard.

But the end result? Beautiful. As soon as we stopped looking at what we wanted (acreage with a small house near the school) and opened our minds and hearts to what we were being lead to, there it was: our SIX bedroom FOUR bathroom house with a pool in a neighborhood (not acreage) 18 minutes from the school. Pretty much the exact opposite of what we were looking for.

Isaiah 55:8-9 "8.For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. 9. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Every time I have submitted my will to the will of my Father in Heaven it has resulted in something beautiful. Many times over the past 4 years it has felt like I am walking in the dark. Not lost. Not alone. Not afraid (mostly). But not having any clue where to go or what is next. I am beginning to associate this feeling with great anticipation. I have gotten to the point now that I am eager for this feeling. When I try to lead the way I just seem to mess everything up. But when I am in the dark and I have no choice but to trust and follow, amazing beautiful wonderful things happen. It is so reassuring to know that I am not the one in charge.

All praises and credit go to my Heavenly Father. He writes such beautiful stories.

"Very Lived In"

We sold our house.

I know, that came out of nowhere. More details on the story of how all this came to be later.

Now that the house is sold we are realizing this means we have to leave. This house has been 'the house.' We have been here over 10 years now. Five of our six children were babies in this house. Yes, even the 6 year old and 15 year old who walked through the threshold rather than being carried. We have lived in this house longer than any other together.

Before we listed the house we were discussing the list price with our realtor and a few other professionals from her office. Our realtor is a personal friend and knows us well. Because everything happened so dang fast these three individuals came to see our house when it was not at it's best. We had a long list of items we were preparing to clean up and repair. Eight people and 2 dogs do live here. I was given all of 35 minutes notice that they wanted to swing by and I was 25 minutes away from my house. I had not been home all morning. The house wasn't messy. It wasn't dirty. But it was definitely not 'company ready.' There was no time to prepare anything.

We were told our house was "very lived in" and our expectation of the list price may not be realistic. Our friend and realtor knows us well enough to know what we are capable of, but even she offered us a gentle warning. She was confident we could get close to the price we wanted but even she warned us that our home needed some love to achieve our magic number. At first I was irritated by this feedback we were receiving. They just didn't know who they were dealing with.

Fortunately, we seem to have a knack for proving people wrong.

Seventy-two hours later the house was completely transformed. No joke. Each of the individuals returned the following week and were shocked. One actually used the word 'speechless.' The house looked new. We listed the house at the price we had originally intended before the 'lived in' comments and it was sold with multiple offers in the first week.

But in hind sight, I was paid one of the highest compliments I think we could have received. Our home is being LIVED in! As I painted over the scuff marks in the baseboards where the boys have crashed their cars and bumped their way down the hallway giggling and chasing each other I felt the life. As I painted over the dinged and worn door jam in my master closet where my babies jumped in their door-frame jumper while I showered each morning I felt the life.

As we filled the grooves where the dogs had 'knocked' to go outside and magic-erased all the hand prints of the kids going in and out and in and out of that back patio door, I felt the life. As Brad replaced the transition strip in the kitchen where one of the boys had chipped the laminate with a plasma car I felt the life.

As we cleaned every wall and every door in the house and wiped away all the years of little hands I felt the life. As we took down the very worn play set in the backyard and sent it on it's way to a random craigslist taker, I felt the life.

As we painted over little food spots and chair dings on our kitchen walls, I felt the life. As we painted over dog goobers, hand prints, and that old wallpaper we said we would take down in the master bedroom when we bought the place 10 years ago, I felt the life.

As we were finishing this overhaul and staging the house for sale my sweet Caity said, "You are supposed to take a house and make it a home. We are taking our home and making it a house."

The kids all hated having our house staged. Many of them had some serious meltdowns over the week we were displaced by the showings and continued staging. We rely heavily on routine and predictability and this new unlived-in non-personal house was very uncomfortable. Since the house went pending we have taken down all of the decor that was not ours and made the house feel like home again.

It feels so good to truly live.

Right out of a movie

To celebrate our 16th wedding anniversary Brad had his heart set on a weekend getaway. We wanted to travel for our anniversary last year, but we were preparing to travel out of the country... again. So the anniversary getaway was put on hold. This year the budget was a little tight for the category of "anniversary travel." But Brad was determined to do something special.

So, this year, I was told weeks in advance that there would be a weekend getaway and I would not need to do a thing to get ready. I was so on board with this idea. And Brad was so excited he was giddy. He kept telling me he had surprises for me. He counted down the days. The day we were set to leave he counted down the hours for me.

Thursday the babysitter showed up at 1:30 to go over a few things before dropping me off for a NINETY MINUTE MASSAGE. Oh, my man knows me well. Brad picked me up from the massage and we drove out of town. The car was packed. The kids were handled. And I was a puddle of relaxation in the passenger seat.

We stopped in Petaluma for dinner on our way to the coast. Brad had searched for the best resturaunt in Petaluma and checked the menu ahead of time. Unfortunately this little suprise didn't pan out as "Cafe Zazzle" did not 'zazzle' us. But Brad had also packed snacks so all was well.

Not so zazzle-y.

We arrived at our Beach-side getaway about 8:00. Brad's employers had flowers and a fruit basket delivered to the room for us.

It was so fun to sit and do nothing while Brad unloaded the car. We have recently started a an exercise program and took care of our workout first thing. While I was in the shower after working out, Brad unpacked everything. I stepped out of the shower to discover candles everywhere and a steamy bath running. Our hotel was literally on the beach so the sounds of the waves outside our windows put the finishing touch on the evening. This may have been my favorite moment of the weekend.

Took this picture the next night. I need one of these in my next home.

Friday morning I awoke to a fire in the fireplace at the foot of our bed. Brad had brought all of the food for our trip and proudly served me breakfast in bed. This get-away was so needed that the two of us slept the majority of the morning and didn't leave the hotel until after noon. When we returned Brad made us a hot lunch.

After another nap we decided to move our bodies a minimal amount and went to a beach nearby to explore some sea caves.

Then it was back to the room to lay around and watch shows. We were faithful to our exercises again and completed our workout before an indulgent dinner at "The Upper Crust" pizza restaurant. It was decent pizza for a middle-of-nowhere hiccup town on Highway 1.

Saturday, after another fabulous breakfast in our room, Brad had scheduled a horse back ride on the beach for us. It was perfect.

We spent so much time napping and resting on this trip. I though it would get old. It did not. We finally dragged ourselves out of the room for a sunset walk on the beach. Brad brought some Martinellis to toast with and we climbed to a fabulous perch to enjoy our sunset toast.

Brad had searched the internet for the "best clam chowder" and he brought fresh sourdough bread to enjoy for dinner when we returned to the room. He did good.

Sunday morning Brad had planned a hike to a waterfall thinking we would be itching to get out of the hotel experiencing cabin fever. But we weren't so we skipped the planned hike and laid around until checkout instead.

We finally left for home and said goodbye to magical Gualala. We stopped at the Russian River on the way home to enjoy a super tasty Russian buffet. It is owned and operated by Russian women and across the street is a campground run by a Ukrainian family. The food was fantastic and we enjoyed talking with everyone. We stopped for ice cream in Petaluma on the way home. It was not until we pulled into the driveway that Brad asked me to do a single thing. From the moment we left until the moment we arrived home I had not lifted a finger. Happy Anniversary to me!

And this is why I call him Superman.