A whole week without a blog post... What is this world coming to? Life is busy. And this week has been one of "those" weeks. So, as I stop to take a moment to catch my breath, I am working on some blog posts. Fun pictures and updates coming.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Hey Everybody!
A whole week without a blog post... What is this world coming to? Life is busy. And this week has been one of "those" weeks. So, as I stop to take a moment to catch my breath, I am working on some blog posts. Fun pictures and updates coming.
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Saturday, February 16, 2013
All rainbows and butterflies
I realize my posts up to this point have been obnoxiously positive. Can adoption really be as pretty as I am painting it? Am I being realistic or am I only revealing the fluffy stuff?
Watching an adoption through a blog can be a little like seeing the world through 'rose colored glasses'. No one posts pictures of their children crying or the moments that we mommies want to tear our own hair out.
One of my all time favorite lines from a movie is from the hilarious comedy called 'Just Married'. I still laugh through the entire movie every time I see it. But I love this scene in the movie because it speaks an enormous truth.
"You never see the hard days in a photo album. But those are the ones that get you from one happy snapshot to the next."
The truth is we really are having an amazingly positive experience. I do not feel like I am only admitting to the fun stuff. But I do feel like I should mention some of the realistic parts of this experience to keep a balanced picture for friends, family, and random blog stalkers.
The reality is: we have added another child to our family. EVERY child brings their own challenges and 'special' needs. Every time we have added a child there has been a huge adjustment. And every time something about the experience has been 'hard'.
For starters, it is a completely different experience bringing a child home that is not an infant. Our son is a fully mobile, curious, mischievous little toddler. All 5 of our family members have had to adjust to a new family member at running speed. Newborn babies can be observed from afar. If siblings need a break they can walk away and their new baby cannot follow. Jacob gets into his brother and sisters things. He follows them around. He wants, takes, and sometimes damages their stuff. He requires constant supervision and there was no easing into his needs.
When an infant joins their family they are completely immobile. Strapping the newest addition into a bouncy seat, swing, or even wearing them in a sling can offer parents and siblings a moment to disconnect from baby's needs and focus on someone else. This has not been the case with bringing a one year old into the family. He is fully mobile and because literally everything is new to him, everything must be explored. Jay requires constant supervision and companionship. And, because he comes from a complex background of institutionalized care and orphan coping behaviors, leaving him alone in a playpen or other confine is not a good option. Waking hours require constant attention during the first months home. We are just now arriving at a place where Jacob can handle being 'alone' for a moment without reverting to orphan coping behaviors or getting himself into serious trouble.
From day one Jay has had the body and ability, awareness and understanding of a 1 year old but the communication skills and verbal understanding of an infant. His 'vocabulary' of expressed words (signs) is just now barely passing into double digits. He is at an age where he knows very clearly what he wants and what is happening around him but cannot express those needs and desires to the people around him. This goes beyond the typical developmental norm. Speech delay is common with international adoption. But for a toddler who would be frustrated already and is expected to have a speech delay, adding a language change and expressive delay into the mix is a heavy load.
Dealing with a child who is used to being in an institutionalized setting is very challenging. He is learning to rely on Mommy now, but our first weeks were very difficult because he was used to relying on only himself. Bonding with a child who shuts you out is tough. I wanted so badly in the first weeks to stop his 'orphan behaviors' because it made me feel like I wasn't doing enough when he would rock incessantly or chew on his thumb or bump his head on the side of the playpen over and over. There had to be something I could do! And there was, but it takes time and is still a work in progress.
Learning to let go of what must have or might have happened during his first year is hard. Watching his behaviors and recognizing his responses can be heartbreaking. Putting the pieces of the puzzle together and realizing what they mean can be a tough pill to swallow. Moving beyond anger, frustration, and loss regarding his first 13 months is a challenge. Not getting stuck in the negative takes effort.
There are days that I worry about the bond I am building with my son. I am madly in love with this baby 99% of the time. But there are moments when I question whether or not I love him 'as much' as the others. And, even if the feeling is only for a moment, it brings a lot of worry and guilt. Our love is growing just like with every child. But because we dropped into his life at 13 months of age, and he dropped into our family with 13 months already behind him, we missed out on growing into love together through a pregnancy and infancy. Sometimes it is hard to remember that we've only been working on our love and connection for 3 months in person and it is okay if it is imperfect. Three months is such a short time even though it feels like we've been together forever.
Then there are the questions. Admittedly, I appreciate the questions. Answering everyone helps me define what I really believe and what is actually important to me. Everyone is curious. Rightly so, I would be too. But sometimes the questions can be hard. And other times the answers are just as hard too.
And, of course, there are the normal challenges of adding another child to the family. Just like with our first 3 babies, I am constantly 'behind'. It takes time to find the new groove. Dishes pile up, laundry falls behind, nice healthy balanced meals are fewer and farther between, and the housecleaning, oh, the housecleaning, let's just not even talk about that. But all of those things will settle with time. In fact, everything in this list of 'challenges' will settle with time. And, as nothing ever stays the same, new challenges will crop up. New changes will happen. And life will continue to whiz by at top speed.
Meanwhile we are relishing our time with our precious new son. The rainbows and butterflies are the perfect distraction from the challenges. His amazing sweet personality and natural resilience push us through each day with a smile on our faces. We are constantly overflowing with joy and gratitude for the rich blessing that is our sweet son.
Did you see how I just slipped those rose colored glasses back on? I can't help it...
Watching an adoption through a blog can be a little like seeing the world through 'rose colored glasses'. No one posts pictures of their children crying or the moments that we mommies want to tear our own hair out.
One of my all time favorite lines from a movie is from the hilarious comedy called 'Just Married'. I still laugh through the entire movie every time I see it. But I love this scene in the movie because it speaks an enormous truth.
"You never see the hard days in a photo album. But those are the ones that get you from one happy snapshot to the next."
The truth is we really are having an amazingly positive experience. I do not feel like I am only admitting to the fun stuff. But I do feel like I should mention some of the realistic parts of this experience to keep a balanced picture for friends, family, and random blog stalkers.
The reality is: we have added another child to our family. EVERY child brings their own challenges and 'special' needs. Every time we have added a child there has been a huge adjustment. And every time something about the experience has been 'hard'.
For starters, it is a completely different experience bringing a child home that is not an infant. Our son is a fully mobile, curious, mischievous little toddler. All 5 of our family members have had to adjust to a new family member at running speed. Newborn babies can be observed from afar. If siblings need a break they can walk away and their new baby cannot follow. Jacob gets into his brother and sisters things. He follows them around. He wants, takes, and sometimes damages their stuff. He requires constant supervision and there was no easing into his needs.
When an infant joins their family they are completely immobile. Strapping the newest addition into a bouncy seat, swing, or even wearing them in a sling can offer parents and siblings a moment to disconnect from baby's needs and focus on someone else. This has not been the case with bringing a one year old into the family. He is fully mobile and because literally everything is new to him, everything must be explored. Jay requires constant supervision and companionship. And, because he comes from a complex background of institutionalized care and orphan coping behaviors, leaving him alone in a playpen or other confine is not a good option. Waking hours require constant attention during the first months home. We are just now arriving at a place where Jacob can handle being 'alone' for a moment without reverting to orphan coping behaviors or getting himself into serious trouble.
From day one Jay has had the body and ability, awareness and understanding of a 1 year old but the communication skills and verbal understanding of an infant. His 'vocabulary' of expressed words (signs) is just now barely passing into double digits. He is at an age where he knows very clearly what he wants and what is happening around him but cannot express those needs and desires to the people around him. This goes beyond the typical developmental norm. Speech delay is common with international adoption. But for a toddler who would be frustrated already and is expected to have a speech delay, adding a language change and expressive delay into the mix is a heavy load.
Dealing with a child who is used to being in an institutionalized setting is very challenging. He is learning to rely on Mommy now, but our first weeks were very difficult because he was used to relying on only himself. Bonding with a child who shuts you out is tough. I wanted so badly in the first weeks to stop his 'orphan behaviors' because it made me feel like I wasn't doing enough when he would rock incessantly or chew on his thumb or bump his head on the side of the playpen over and over. There had to be something I could do! And there was, but it takes time and is still a work in progress.
Learning to let go of what must have or might have happened during his first year is hard. Watching his behaviors and recognizing his responses can be heartbreaking. Putting the pieces of the puzzle together and realizing what they mean can be a tough pill to swallow. Moving beyond anger, frustration, and loss regarding his first 13 months is a challenge. Not getting stuck in the negative takes effort.
There are days that I worry about the bond I am building with my son. I am madly in love with this baby 99% of the time. But there are moments when I question whether or not I love him 'as much' as the others. And, even if the feeling is only for a moment, it brings a lot of worry and guilt. Our love is growing just like with every child. But because we dropped into his life at 13 months of age, and he dropped into our family with 13 months already behind him, we missed out on growing into love together through a pregnancy and infancy. Sometimes it is hard to remember that we've only been working on our love and connection for 3 months in person and it is okay if it is imperfect. Three months is such a short time even though it feels like we've been together forever.
Then there are the questions. Admittedly, I appreciate the questions. Answering everyone helps me define what I really believe and what is actually important to me. Everyone is curious. Rightly so, I would be too. But sometimes the questions can be hard. And other times the answers are just as hard too.
And, of course, there are the normal challenges of adding another child to the family. Just like with our first 3 babies, I am constantly 'behind'. It takes time to find the new groove. Dishes pile up, laundry falls behind, nice healthy balanced meals are fewer and farther between, and the housecleaning, oh, the housecleaning, let's just not even talk about that. But all of those things will settle with time. In fact, everything in this list of 'challenges' will settle with time. And, as nothing ever stays the same, new challenges will crop up. New changes will happen. And life will continue to whiz by at top speed.
Meanwhile we are relishing our time with our precious new son. The rainbows and butterflies are the perfect distraction from the challenges. His amazing sweet personality and natural resilience push us through each day with a smile on our faces. We are constantly overflowing with joy and gratitude for the rich blessing that is our sweet son.
Did you see how I just slipped those rose colored glasses back on? I can't help it...
Thursday, February 14, 2013
#1 hubby
I have had this post sitting in my drafts file for over 2 months now. I wanted to post it earlier but thought it would be a good way to proclaim my love for my man on Valentines Day. So, happy Valentines day, Superman!
9. My hubby can fix anything. I rarely have to mention something is broken more than once. Fixing is like a hobby. I love having a handy hubby.
8. He loves me first thing in the morning and right at the end of long days. It doesn't matter to him if I have no makeup, a pony tail or crazy bed-head, goobers all over my clothes, or just "the look" of a tired mommy of 4. Brad tells me how beautiful I am and how lucky he is to have me at all hours and circumstances of the day.
7. Brad always comes home from work ready to jump in and help. You might see my hubby on the phone handling business after hours or on weekends. But the moment he hangs up he is right in the middle of the play or chores. Brad never shirks his duties at home.
6. My hubby will do anything I ask. Literally. This man puts his wife and family first in every situation.
5. He's always trying to be/do "better". No matter what he has achieved or how proud others may be, Brad always strives to improve.
4. My hubby gives "nub". From the early days of our marriage, we have called physical affection- back rubs, foot massages, holding hands, snuggling, running fingers through hair, nuzzling, etc: "nub". I am an incredibly high-maintenance "nub-sponge". I require lots of touching and my man delivers.
3. Brad is ALWAYS the first to apologize. Even if he is not the one at fault. He is humble enough to recognize when he is just being grouchy, stop whatever he is doing, and look me in the eyes to say he's sorry. And when I am the one being grouchy he is humble enough to go ahead and apologize for that too...
2.Father of the year: my hubby is not only super man, he is super dad. Our children literally run to greet him when he comes in the door. They jump on him and throw their arms around his neck. On the weekends they jockey for who will get to do what with Dad. Dad always has the right answers. Dad always seems to know what to say when someone has made a mistake to correct and love all at the same time.
1. Work ethic: my hubby will be the first to start working and the last to stop. If he doesn't know how to do something, he'll find a way. If someone says they don't believe he can, he finds a way to prove them wrong. He never shies away from a task or challenge just because he has to endure stress, labor physically, get dirty, or work long hours.
Those are my top ten, but it's not fair to ignore his sense of humor, crazy brain smarts, integrity, faith, compassion, adventurous spirit, and really, I could go on and on. But that's 'cause I am in love, and love-struck people tend to go on and on about the one they love. So I'll spare you further gushing. But I think I am the luckiest woman on earth. After all, there is only one Superman... to me anyway.
Top 10 reasons I call my husband "Superman":
10. He makes breakfast every weekend. Big, tasty, healthy, savory and scrumptious breakfasts. If he can talk me and the kids into it, he even lets mommy stay in bed until the food is ready...
10. He makes breakfast every weekend. Big, tasty, healthy, savory and scrumptious breakfasts. If he can talk me and the kids into it, he even lets mommy stay in bed until the food is ready...
9. My hubby can fix anything. I rarely have to mention something is broken more than once. Fixing is like a hobby. I love having a handy hubby.
8. He loves me first thing in the morning and right at the end of long days. It doesn't matter to him if I have no makeup, a pony tail or crazy bed-head, goobers all over my clothes, or just "the look" of a tired mommy of 4. Brad tells me how beautiful I am and how lucky he is to have me at all hours and circumstances of the day.
7. Brad always comes home from work ready to jump in and help. You might see my hubby on the phone handling business after hours or on weekends. But the moment he hangs up he is right in the middle of the play or chores. Brad never shirks his duties at home.
6. My hubby will do anything I ask. Literally. This man puts his wife and family first in every situation.
5. He's always trying to be/do "better". No matter what he has achieved or how proud others may be, Brad always strives to improve.
4. My hubby gives "nub". From the early days of our marriage, we have called physical affection- back rubs, foot massages, holding hands, snuggling, running fingers through hair, nuzzling, etc: "nub". I am an incredibly high-maintenance "nub-sponge". I require lots of touching and my man delivers.
3. Brad is ALWAYS the first to apologize. Even if he is not the one at fault. He is humble enough to recognize when he is just being grouchy, stop whatever he is doing, and look me in the eyes to say he's sorry. And when I am the one being grouchy he is humble enough to go ahead and apologize for that too...
2.Father of the year: my hubby is not only super man, he is super dad. Our children literally run to greet him when he comes in the door. They jump on him and throw their arms around his neck. On the weekends they jockey for who will get to do what with Dad. Dad always has the right answers. Dad always seems to know what to say when someone has made a mistake to correct and love all at the same time.
1. Work ethic: my hubby will be the first to start working and the last to stop. If he doesn't know how to do something, he'll find a way. If someone says they don't believe he can, he finds a way to prove them wrong. He never shies away from a task or challenge just because he has to endure stress, labor physically, get dirty, or work long hours.
Those are my top ten, but it's not fair to ignore his sense of humor, crazy brain smarts, integrity, faith, compassion, adventurous spirit, and really, I could go on and on. But that's 'cause I am in love, and love-struck people tend to go on and on about the one they love. So I'll spare you further gushing. But I think I am the luckiest woman on earth. After all, there is only one Superman... to me anyway.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Sons
Sons. That is a word I have dreamed of for years. Growing up I always pictured myself with sons. Before I was married I assumed I would have both daughters and sons. But the picture in my mind was always boys. Then I married an only child and realized more than two children may not be in my hubby's comfort zone.
There I was in my little dream of having boys. So imagine my shock when my first two children were beautiful, girly, girls. We were "done" and everything was pink. Caity was all girl and was far more interested in painting her nails than playing sports (although she did give soccer and softball a try for Mom). There were hair accessories, princess movies, frilly dresses, and jewelry.
I surprised myself and discovered girls are kinda fun. I jumped right in to dress-up and playing 'house'. I taught myself to do their hair (something I had never done for myself). I made sure they were dressed and accessorized to the hilt for every formal occasion. I painted little tiny toe nails and allowed clear lip gloss for special occasions. The collection of little purses began to grow. My world of pink became all-inclusive.
Then the unexpected happened. Brad came to me and said, "I think we should have another baby." Um, excuse me? We were done. I actually told him no. For real. I think my actual words were, "I don't think so." Amber had proven to be an extremely difficult toddler. We did not know it at the time but she was struggling with sensory processing dysfunction and life was hard for her... and me. Another baby just was not on my radar.
Being a wise and benevolent husband, Brad quietly waited. Then he brought it up again. And again. Finally he played the trump card: "I think God is asking us to have another baby. It doesn't have to be now. I just want you to know what is on my heart." Aw crumbs. Can't argue that one. I knew it too. But after he said the words I couldn't deny it anymore.
A little more time passed and I knew that this was right. We were going to have a third child.
What if it's another girl? Can I really be a good Mom to three daughters? Can I really let go of this desire for a son? I knew I had to want another baby, not another chance at a boy. I had to be prepared to hear the technician say "it's a girl" again and be excited not disappointed. I was absolutely in love with my daughters. But there was a little part of me that still desperately wanted a son.
The day of the ultrasound finally came. The technician asked if we wanted to know the sex of the baby. Yes! It was the longest moment of my life. My heart was beating out of my chest. I strained to decipher what the technician was looking at. "Well if you look right here you can see his..." HIS. It was a boy!! I just about jumped off the table. I exclaimed in a voice much higher and louder than I intended, "Really!?"
My son. My boy. Right there on the screen.
I had to go back to that little ultrasound picture several times over the next week just to convince myself it was real. Did we really see what they said? Even up to the day he was born I couldn't believe it. Not until I saw him with my own two eyes and held him in my arms did I really believe he was mine.
Little did I know there was more to come. God had not saved the best for last. My sweet son was just the beginning of the bigger plan. The next time God spoke we were ready to follow without it being on 'our time'. I needed to talk myself into obedience to have a third child. But when it was time to be obedient again, we knew we would be blessed for jumping in with both feet. Boy were we ever blessed...
There I was in my little dream of having boys. So imagine my shock when my first two children were beautiful, girly, girls. We were "done" and everything was pink. Caity was all girl and was far more interested in painting her nails than playing sports (although she did give soccer and softball a try for Mom). There were hair accessories, princess movies, frilly dresses, and jewelry.
I surprised myself and discovered girls are kinda fun. I jumped right in to dress-up and playing 'house'. I taught myself to do their hair (something I had never done for myself). I made sure they were dressed and accessorized to the hilt for every formal occasion. I painted little tiny toe nails and allowed clear lip gloss for special occasions. The collection of little purses began to grow. My world of pink became all-inclusive.
Then the unexpected happened. Brad came to me and said, "I think we should have another baby." Um, excuse me? We were done. I actually told him no. For real. I think my actual words were, "I don't think so." Amber had proven to be an extremely difficult toddler. We did not know it at the time but she was struggling with sensory processing dysfunction and life was hard for her... and me. Another baby just was not on my radar.
Being a wise and benevolent husband, Brad quietly waited. Then he brought it up again. And again. Finally he played the trump card: "I think God is asking us to have another baby. It doesn't have to be now. I just want you to know what is on my heart." Aw crumbs. Can't argue that one. I knew it too. But after he said the words I couldn't deny it anymore.
A little more time passed and I knew that this was right. We were going to have a third child.
What if it's another girl? Can I really be a good Mom to three daughters? Can I really let go of this desire for a son? I knew I had to want another baby, not another chance at a boy. I had to be prepared to hear the technician say "it's a girl" again and be excited not disappointed. I was absolutely in love with my daughters. But there was a little part of me that still desperately wanted a son.
The day of the ultrasound finally came. The technician asked if we wanted to know the sex of the baby. Yes! It was the longest moment of my life. My heart was beating out of my chest. I strained to decipher what the technician was looking at. "Well if you look right here you can see his..." HIS. It was a boy!! I just about jumped off the table. I exclaimed in a voice much higher and louder than I intended, "Really!?"
My son. My boy. Right there on the screen.
I had to go back to that little ultrasound picture several times over the next week just to convince myself it was real. Did we really see what they said? Even up to the day he was born I couldn't believe it. Not until I saw him with my own two eyes and held him in my arms did I really believe he was mine.
Little did I know there was more to come. God had not saved the best for last. My sweet son was just the beginning of the bigger plan. The next time God spoke we were ready to follow without it being on 'our time'. I needed to talk myself into obedience to have a third child. But when it was time to be obedient again, we knew we would be blessed for jumping in with both feet. Boy were we ever blessed...
Daughters
It was about 7 1/2 years ago. I remember it vividly. The lights were out. Three-year-old Caity was sitting in a chair off to my left with her little feet dangling over the edge. Brad and my Mom were next to Caitlin. The ultrasound technician was moving the little wand thingy over my belly. The jelly stuff had warmed up but felt sticky on my tummy. We were watching the usual "x-ray" like images on the screen of our second child. Then they switched the image to 3D and we saw our beautiful child's face. It was so cool to be looking at a 'real' picture of our child.
Then it was time for what we were there for. You see, we had already had our routine ultrasound a few weeks before. But our stubborn little baby did not want us to see whether they were a boy or a girl. Despite the patience of the technician, changing positions, trying to stimulate the baby into moving, even taking a potty break, our baby wouldn't budge. So, being the ultimate control-freak-planner, I decided to pay privately for the fancy 3D ultrasound to have another chance to discover the sex of our baby.
Everyone said he would be a boy. They were sure. I even thought he was a boy. This pregnancy was 'different'. I just knew deep down that this baby was a boy. Growing up I had always thought I would have only boys. I am practically a boy myself by behavior. I love sports. I preferred the company of boys growing up. If I could convince them to let me play, I spent every recess in elementary school on the sports fields with the boys. Girls were too high maintenance in jr. high and high school. Boys were easy. Baby sitting during my teen years seemed to include a higher number of boys. The boys gravitated to me. I knew I would have 'sons'.
So when the technician said, "Oh, good, she's making it nice and obvious." All I heard was "she." Wait, another girl? Are you sure? But there it was, clear as day on the screen before me. A second daughter.
I walked out of the office in a state of shock. Everyone was in a state of shock. All smiling, all thrilled. But shocked. Another girl.
I had planned to go shopping with my Mom right after the ultrasound to 'celebrate' our new knowledge. We drove to the store and I just kind of wandered through aimlessly. I couldn't do it. I was too shocked.
Time passed and I fell head-over-heals in love with the idea of another girl. This time I went all out. Everything was pink. Everything was girly. Everything was embellished. I even started to feel a little more feminine myself (lets not get carried away, I said a little). I realized that my girls would be 'sisters'. I had never had one of those. The sister relationship is supposed to be pretty special. Turns out I had no idea what Caity would have missed without a sister.
Back then, Brad and I thought 2 was a good number of children. We assumed Amber was our last baby (hahaha). How blessed I am that Heavenly Father knew His plan for me and chose to send my precious daughters first. He knew I would be a good mother to sons. But He knew I could learn to be a good mother to daughters if He sent them first so I could focus.
Now-a-days my girls seem to spend more time away from me. Between school, play dates, extracurricular activities, and sleepovers at Nana's, my job as a mommy of Daughters has changed. These days my girls still hold a huge part of my heart, but they require far less of my presence.
It is easy now that I have two little boys to feel like a mother of sons, but I remember vividly what it was like to be the mommy of only daughters. How blessed I am...
Then it was time for what we were there for. You see, we had already had our routine ultrasound a few weeks before. But our stubborn little baby did not want us to see whether they were a boy or a girl. Despite the patience of the technician, changing positions, trying to stimulate the baby into moving, even taking a potty break, our baby wouldn't budge. So, being the ultimate control-freak-planner, I decided to pay privately for the fancy 3D ultrasound to have another chance to discover the sex of our baby.
Everyone said he would be a boy. They were sure. I even thought he was a boy. This pregnancy was 'different'. I just knew deep down that this baby was a boy. Growing up I had always thought I would have only boys. I am practically a boy myself by behavior. I love sports. I preferred the company of boys growing up. If I could convince them to let me play, I spent every recess in elementary school on the sports fields with the boys. Girls were too high maintenance in jr. high and high school. Boys were easy. Baby sitting during my teen years seemed to include a higher number of boys. The boys gravitated to me. I knew I would have 'sons'.
So when the technician said, "Oh, good, she's making it nice and obvious." All I heard was "she." Wait, another girl? Are you sure? But there it was, clear as day on the screen before me. A second daughter.
I walked out of the office in a state of shock. Everyone was in a state of shock. All smiling, all thrilled. But shocked. Another girl.
I had planned to go shopping with my Mom right after the ultrasound to 'celebrate' our new knowledge. We drove to the store and I just kind of wandered through aimlessly. I couldn't do it. I was too shocked.
Time passed and I fell head-over-heals in love with the idea of another girl. This time I went all out. Everything was pink. Everything was girly. Everything was embellished. I even started to feel a little more feminine myself (lets not get carried away, I said a little). I realized that my girls would be 'sisters'. I had never had one of those. The sister relationship is supposed to be pretty special. Turns out I had no idea what Caity would have missed without a sister.
Back then, Brad and I thought 2 was a good number of children. We assumed Amber was our last baby (hahaha). How blessed I am that Heavenly Father knew His plan for me and chose to send my precious daughters first. He knew I would be a good mother to sons. But He knew I could learn to be a good mother to daughters if He sent them first so I could focus.
Now-a-days my girls seem to spend more time away from me. Between school, play dates, extracurricular activities, and sleepovers at Nana's, my job as a mommy of Daughters has changed. These days my girls still hold a huge part of my heart, but they require far less of my presence.
It is easy now that I have two little boys to feel like a mother of sons, but I remember vividly what it was like to be the mommy of only daughters. How blessed I am...
Saturday, February 9, 2013
All boy times 2
I drove by the skate park the other day and noticed it was empty... so I let Drew ride his bike on the "bumps". My boys were in heaven:
I LOVE how boys are "all in." No caution, no worry, almost dare-devil by nature. Jacob needed a helmet just to walk around the park. He rolled down the ramps twice, but they were stunt-man worthy with a beautiful tuck-and-roll. Brought a smile to my face.
Boys...
I LOVE how boys are "all in." No caution, no worry, almost dare-devil by nature. Jacob needed a helmet just to walk around the park. He rolled down the ramps twice, but they were stunt-man worthy with a beautiful tuck-and-roll. Brought a smile to my face.
Boys...
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Baby steps
Jacob continues to be wary of changing walking surfaces. He will bend down and touch them with his hands. But there is great concern about crawling or walking on them. We went to another park to practice overcoming some of Jacob's fears. He still thinks tan bark is ultra scary. But we worked on his fear of the grass with great success.
He started out walking to the edge and just looking:
Then I used my keys to try and lure him out, but he wasn't so sure:
I worked my magic and convinced him to try:
Then he did it all by himself:
He will now crawl and walk on the front lawn all by himself!
Baby steps...
He started out walking to the edge and just looking:
Then I used my keys to try and lure him out, but he wasn't so sure:
I worked my magic and convinced him to try:
Then he did it all by himself:
He will now crawl and walk on the front lawn all by himself!
Baby steps...
3 months home
Three months! Before we brought Jacob home I was telling myself 3 months would be a benchmark, not to worry until three months if things were crazy, that things would start to feel better at three months. I was coaching myself mentally just in case. Even with my first three babies the three month mark was significant. And while we have had the best first three months possible with our sweet boy, there is still something special about the three month mark. It makes things feel even more real.
It seems like our boy has always been here. Brad and I frequently look at each other and say, "he's from Russia", like it's a new discovery. It just doesn't feel like we spent the first 13 months of his life apart. It doesn't feel like he is any different than our first three children. I still hold to my original comment just weeks after bringing Jacob home that things are better/easier/smoother for me with 4 children. It really does feel like Jacob had been missing from our family and we didn't know it until we got him home.
This is a pretty huge blessing, and I have to admit that even now I am waiting for a reality check. But it has not come like I thought it would. I admit there are moments-we all have moments. The "holy cow I have 4 children what-am-I-doing" moments. But I expected our bond to take much longer to build.
For those of you who did not know us when Drew was born, I experienced moderate to severe Post Pardum Depression (PPD) after his birth. Post Adoption Depression (PAD) is also very common and Brad and I both worried about the possibility of struggles after bringing Jacob home. We weren't sure what types of stressors we might encounter and how they might effect both of our ability to bond with our newest addition.
I feel blessed to have the experience and knowledge I gained through my struggles with PPD to guide me this time around. Bringing a toddler home is tricky business. Welcoming a child who has been raised in an institutionalised environment is challenging. Managing the emotions of a different kind of exhaustion in the first weeks (jet lag on top of sleep deprivation) is hard. Helping our three children understand how to act appropriately with their new 'baby' brother who is not actually a baby is frustrating. And trying to manage my personal adjustment to everything (fatigue, frustration, perceived failures, and just plain being overwhelmed) while simultaneously staying cooped up on "lock down" is enough to make anyone struggle to keep a healthy mind set.
Without my experience with PPD after Drew's birth I'm not sure things would be going so well. Hind sight is 20/20, but I sure am glad Heavenly Father knew I would need that knowledge and believed I was strong enough to come through it.
Jacob's 3 month milestones:
-Spoken words!! "Dada", "Mama", "Nana", "Papa"
-climbing up stairs, safely coming down one single stair
-running (at least the adorable 'baby' run that toddlers do)
-table foods: sandwiches, soups, pastas, rice, potatoes, pancakes, canned fruits and cooked vegetables
-throwing... everything...
-Jacob can handle outings without the front pack now! We have even tried one back-to-back outing including more than one destination.
It just keeps getting better and better...
It seems like our boy has always been here. Brad and I frequently look at each other and say, "he's from Russia", like it's a new discovery. It just doesn't feel like we spent the first 13 months of his life apart. It doesn't feel like he is any different than our first three children. I still hold to my original comment just weeks after bringing Jacob home that things are better/easier/smoother for me with 4 children. It really does feel like Jacob had been missing from our family and we didn't know it until we got him home.
This is a pretty huge blessing, and I have to admit that even now I am waiting for a reality check. But it has not come like I thought it would. I admit there are moments-we all have moments. The "holy cow I have 4 children what-am-I-doing" moments. But I expected our bond to take much longer to build.
For those of you who did not know us when Drew was born, I experienced moderate to severe Post Pardum Depression (PPD) after his birth. Post Adoption Depression (PAD) is also very common and Brad and I both worried about the possibility of struggles after bringing Jacob home. We weren't sure what types of stressors we might encounter and how they might effect both of our ability to bond with our newest addition.
I feel blessed to have the experience and knowledge I gained through my struggles with PPD to guide me this time around. Bringing a toddler home is tricky business. Welcoming a child who has been raised in an institutionalised environment is challenging. Managing the emotions of a different kind of exhaustion in the first weeks (jet lag on top of sleep deprivation) is hard. Helping our three children understand how to act appropriately with their new 'baby' brother who is not actually a baby is frustrating. And trying to manage my personal adjustment to everything (fatigue, frustration, perceived failures, and just plain being overwhelmed) while simultaneously staying cooped up on "lock down" is enough to make anyone struggle to keep a healthy mind set.
Without my experience with PPD after Drew's birth I'm not sure things would be going so well. Hind sight is 20/20, but I sure am glad Heavenly Father knew I would need that knowledge and believed I was strong enough to come through it.
Jacob's 3 month milestones:
-Spoken words!! "Dada", "Mama", "Nana", "Papa"
-climbing up stairs, safely coming down one single stair
-running (at least the adorable 'baby' run that toddlers do)
-table foods: sandwiches, soups, pastas, rice, potatoes, pancakes, canned fruits and cooked vegetables
-throwing... everything...
-Jacob can handle outings without the front pack now! We have even tried one back-to-back outing including more than one destination.
It just keeps getting better and better...
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