The Impossible

One week.

For just 7 days Ty needed to rest.

To stay "down."

To avoid activity.

I'm sure Ty's doctor had visions of him resting quietly on the couch all week with only the occasional gentle stroll into the bathroom. I am sure there are not many 6 year old boys who could actually achieve that but it was the picture that the nursing staff and doctor painted for us before sending us on our way just two hours after surgery. "Make sure he doesn't move around too much."

Our first day after surgery. Who plays like this with abdominal incisions, stitches, and a catheter?

I kept thinking, "His body will tell him if he is over doing it. He'll be in pain and I will be able to tell him 'this is why you need to rest' and then he'll settle down." But he never did. I never had any proof to back up my continued argument that he needed to rest. He felt fine. He had virtually no pain. None of his movements were uncomfortable. "Because Dr. Huang says so" and finally "Because I say so" just had to be the end of it. This child must question and challenge everything.

We spent the week playing game after game after game. I may need to put SORRY away for a while, it remains Ty's favorite but I am losing my desire to move those little plastic chocolate drops around the board. We watched at least one movie a day, we read books, we put together dozens of puzzles, and we completely covered the refrigerator with art work.

But every time I turned my back Ty was doing karate kicks, jumping like a rabbit, 'running' on his hands and knees, climbing up the door jams, or otherwise bouncing off the walls. He asked to ride his bike the first 3 days after surgery. He asked to swim. He asked every time someone left the house, "Can I go?" And every "no" was met with dramatic grunting and "Awwwwww!" By the end of the week everything became "no fair."

While I am extremely grateful for a smooth and easy recovery with minimal discomfort or complication, I am still recovering from this experience. Tuesday we went back to the doctor and received the "green light" to resume normal activity. But our whole family is still twitching a bit from the stress of being cooped up.

We are an active family. We are almost always outside. Running and playing are a part of our daily routine. We tried to get the rest of the kids out and about each day. But we also tried not to make Ty feel like he was being left behind. So everyone is on edge this week as the dust settles. I am looking forward to the four-day-weekend with daddy so that we can all get our bearings again before school resumes.

Strangely, I don't think the experience as a whole could have gone any better. When I reflect on everything start to finish there's nothing I could have changed. We were blessed with the best, even though we are exhausted.

Surgery Day

Today was the big day. Ty's "special need" is officially repaired. We went in to the hospital at 8:30 this morning. We played games, we colored, we talked with all the nurses (Ty wrapped them all around his little finger), and we even got the attention of two young girls across the room... Yes, he is a charmer.

Leonardo was there, of course. But Ty also got a little bear from the hospital. He named him 

"Bug-a-boo".

Go Fish and War.

Ty laughed hysterically when I had Leo and Bug-a-Boo roll play the surgery procedure. I did use silly voices and exaggerated movements for his stuffed buddies, but I think his laughter was just the goofy-juice talking. By the time I took this photo Ty was getting pretty sleepy from the magical goofy-juice. I wonder if I could get a little of that for home use...  

Off to the OR for a 4 hour surgery.

In recovery. The operating staff had put surgical masks and hair nets on Ty's stuffed buddies. We all thought it was adorable. Ty did not. In his drunken stupor coming out of anesthesia he furrowed his little brow and tore them off of Leo. But I think we'll just go ahead and blame that 

one on the goofy-juice too. Ty was pretty floppy and disoriented.

Ty had a hard time coming out of anesthesia and just was not himself until we made it home. Bella quickly set up watch over him for me. This picture was within the first 10 minutes of arriving home.

Everything about the surgery went perfectly. Unfortunately, Ty spent the evening vomiting as the anesthesia worked it's way out of his system. But his pain was pretty well controlled and he was finally able to eat before bedtime. Fingers crossed this means he'll sleep well tonight. 

Building a Buddy

Tomorrow Ty goes in for surgery so tonight we headed out to build-a-bear to make him a surgery buddy. He has asked before to go in "that store right there" when playing at the mall play place outside of build-a-bear. He was quite pleased to finally be inside the magical looking store.

Ty's excitement grew even more when he arrived home and everyone else wanted to see his creation.

Ty and Leonardo getting ready for a good night's sleep before the big day.

Soccer Season Survivors

We made it through a full soccer season with 4 players. Seven practices every week. Four games every Saturday. And to top it all off, four end-of-season parties.

Last game day of the season

Poor Caitlin. Being the oldest means you get dropped off at your end-of-season party and your parents arrange a ride home so they can take all your siblings to other commitments. No parents there to take pictures. I suppose we were there for so many other parties and trophies so she's okay with it.

I have LOVED this season of craziness. Soccer makes me happy (although coaching made me happier). I am looking forward to doing this again next year. I think Brad might feel a little differently... 

I wish they could stay cute and little forever. I love Soccer Saturday!

Tender Moments

I have mentioned before Ty's curiosity and interest in Spiritual topics and ideas. Lately he has been particularly interested in the Crucifixion. I assume he has been learning about it in Sunday School. Monday night on our way home from another doctor appointment he was asking about the difference between God the Father and Jesus Christ. At first he thought they were brothers. We went over several times in both English and Chinese how they are Father and Son.

Once he accepted this he was quietly reflecting and then hit me with, "Why his father no help him?" I knew immediately what he meant. Jesus suffered. Why would a father not help? For a boy who believes he was betrayed and abandoned by his father at an old enough age to remember in detail, this question needed to be answered immediately and carefully.

I explained how the atonement was a sacrifice (with the most simple explanation I could muster). I told Ty Jesus chose to help us and Heavenly Father allowed it. This was all done so that we could have life again. Ty was fascinated by this and kept repeating to me, "die then life again."

I tucked these memories away and figured it would come up again in the near future. That night as we were closing our Family Night lesson (Monday tradition) we asked who wanted to say the closing prayer. Ty's hand shot up into the air. For the first time he asked me if he could pray in English. Until now he has always prayed in Chinese and I only understand about 40% of what he says. I was curious to see what would come out in English. He started with the usual thank-yous and pleases. Then I heard, "Thank you Jesus die, we life again."

I refused to let the tears out because I knew he would look to me first after his "Amen." Instead I let all my joy out through the most controlled and peaceful smile I could muster and gave him a pat on the back. He returned my gaze with a sweet smile and quiet connection as though no one else was in the room but the two of us.

This boy is special.

Jacob's 2-year video

Family Day!

Some adoptive families celebrate "Gotcha Day", the day they brought their child(ren) out of the orphanage or foster home. We choose to celebrate "Family Day", the day our family was all together for the first time. For Jacob, Family Day is November 3.

Our kids LOVE to go out to restaurants. Probably because it happens so rarely (7 family members=cha-ching). But we knew a little dinner out at a "real" restaurant (by kids' standards) would be perfect. Our kids love Gingers. It is a cute little restaurant with a beach/surf/classic motif.

It was perfect. We managed to spill two glasses of water, drop food on the floor, and laugh so loud the other patrons in the restaurant looked a few times. But the kids were great. They used good manners, ate all their food, and behaved appropriately in a public setting. That is all I can ask. It was a great memory to celebrate our 2nd year home with Jacob.

Back To It

Here we are again, back on the paper-chase train:

Because we JUST completed an adoption we are able to do what is called a re-study. Some of our supporting documents can be reused. The papers pictured above are what we need to complete to update our file and allow the social worker to come out and write another report for our home study. I wonder what it will be like to not be doing adoption paperwork someday...? 

One of the documents we have to update is our physical exams. Test dates must be less then 6 months old when we submit them in our dossier. So back to the doctor we went. Brad is not a fan of needles, so he is especially glad to mark this one off the list.

Done!

Celebration For Drew!

At the beginning of the soccer season Papa (my dad) made a deal with the kids: every Saturday, anyone who scored a goal would get ice cream compliments of Papa after the games. Because Ty's team was in a division they really had no business being in, he was usually the one to earn the ice cream scoring an average of 2-3 goals per game. Since being moved up to Division 2 midway through the season, Ty has been disappointed to see his scoring streak come to an immediate halt.

Last Saturday Drew scored his very first goal. It was a beauty. And he had worked hard to earn it. We were all excited to celebrate with him. Except Ty lost his enthusiasm for Drew's achievement when the ice cream arrived. He was green with envy. The "scorer" gets to choose whatever ice cream treat they desire. Everyone else enjoys a single small scoop or vanilla ice cream cone. Drew's GIANT root beer float had Ty aching. It was all fun and games when Ty was receiving the special treat of his choice. But it was pretty obvious this scenario was not as enjoyable for him.

Proud of this boy.

As we left the ice cream parlor Ty asked if he could come back next week after he scored a goal. I told him we would see how his game went. He had his heart set on one of those root beer floats.

After today's game he sulked over to me and said, "I score zero." It is a tough lesson to learn, but a lesson this boy really needs: you are not actually winning when you play against someone who cannot defend themselves (a 12-0 game is not a win in my book). And it is just not possible to 'win' every time. Sometimes it is far more important to do your best and be a good sport. He is learning, but that root beer float is still calling to him...

Random Stuff

I feel like I fell of the blogosphere for a week. It was probably a good thing given all of the other things that got done. But it means I have a bunch of pictures that I want to keep here to remember and they don't really go together. It's okay though, they will always go together in my mind.

Ty LOVES the freedom of being able to play in the backyard. Often while his brothers and sisters are watching a TV show after school, he will quietly disappear (after asking mom, but without alerting his siblings) into the backyard to do what he was never able to do before: play whatever sounds fun in the moment. He is blowing and catching bubbles in this picture. So simple and sweet.

Ty was down and out with strep throat. Joseph, the cat, decided to take advantage of a warm place to lay. Then Jacob decided this was a snuggle opportunity. 

Ty still loves Bella. She makes a good back rest.

Ty made this picture for me. It is still on the fridge. We all thought it was cute that he drew me in a skirt (something he only sees me in once a week for church). I love that he can write all of our names independently.

These kids are all so dang sweet. Yes, they fight and bicker like siblings should. But when they are sweet, they are so sweet. I'm so glad they have each other.

When It's My Son

I think it is interesting to reflect on my perspective before our first adoption. I knew there were orphans. I knew there was hunger and even starvation. I knew there was true poverty. But I know now that I did not understand it.

I remember watching those TV commercials when I was a kid of the nicely dressed American guy crouched down next to a bone-thin, bald little boy or girl barefoot in rags somewhere in Africa. They were usually standing in a muddy road or village surrounded by garbage and debris. The American always said something like, "For just 17 cents a day you can give a child clean water to drink and food to eat." There were TV commercials about giving so that children could have basic vaccines to protect them from deadly diseases. I can still see the faces of the little kids in the TV. But I did not understand it then like I do now.

Until you have stood in an orphanage. Until you have walked the streets where aged-out orphans try to survive. Until you have held a hungry infant and felt their desire for your touch. And until you have watched your own children come home from institutions. You. Do. Not. Understand.

There is a filter in our brains. A disconnect. It is natural and necessary for survival. If we truly absorbed all of the need continually, it would be debilitating. When Brad and I stood in Ty's orphanage, it was overwhelming. When we witnessed the effects of the institution on our sweet little baby it was overwhelming. But our brains learn to disconnect. We have to live our lives.

Once you experience it, although you can disconnect, you never forget. So when one of my children is still in the orphanage, I feel it deeply again. I must bring him home. It is not just an orphan who needs help. This is my son who needs to come home.

I came across this video and felt it described clearly why we keep adopting.

These are not orphans we are choosing to rescue. These boys are our sons that are being revealed to us. God chose us for them and them for us. That does not mean it will be easy. That does not mean we get an automatic story-book ending. But it does not matter. Nothing will stand in between us and our children.

If you woke up tomorrow and one of your children had been taken to a country on the other side of the earth, what would you do to get them home? Would you put it off until you had the money? Would you wait until all your other children were out of the house? Would you be paralyzed by the fear of what may have happened to your child during the time it took you to get to them?  Being "called" does not eliminate the risks. It only quiets the fear so that action can happen.

Super Hero Summit

This year the boys all wanted to be super heroes. As luck would have it, Amber found a Super Girl costume so the theme was set. Caity is getting a little old for the sibling themes so she dressed up with her friends instead. They were all characters from Winnie the Pooh and made their costumes themselves. Caity was Tigger.

The kids were waiting impatiently to depart for the trunk or treat. I though it was cute when they gathered around the table for a little super hero meeting.

Even Spider-Man needs a nap every once in a while.

By the end of the week of constant Halloween events Ty was quite convinced that Halloween is the best holiday ever. He told me repeatedly on the actual day that, "This is last trick-or-treat." To which I would have to respond with, "Yes, no more trick-or-treat after tonight."

We Americans and our candy...