Every time we have committed to adoption we have fielded numerous questions about how and why. Some questions are innocent enough. Some clearly come from a perspective of disapproval and attitude of defiance as if to say: you can't do that! Each time there has been at least one if not many opportunities for me to practice biting my tongue and simply putting a smile on my face. Yes, I do actually keep quiet from time to time.
But every time I get fired up I come to the same conclusion: they just can't see it.
If you received a phone call today telling you that one of your children had been abducted, what would you do? Would you finish off the work day and get to it when it was convenient for you? Or would you immediately drop everything to investigate?
If you learned that your child had been seen in another state would you not feel compelled to drive there now to find them? What if a a police officer called and said, "We found him but he had been taken clear across the country, can you get on a plane?" Would you wait until you had the money? Would you hesitate to leave your other children in the care of friends or family to go to your missing child?
What if, somehow, your child ended up in another country. What if there were a lengthy process to get them out of that country and back home? Would you wait for that process to unfold so as to save the cost of travel and arrangements for your other children or would you immediately fly to them and stay with them through the process?
What would stand in your way? A ransom? Maybe even $30,000 or more? Paperwork? Travel? Leaving your other children for a couple weeks? The stress of the whole process?
If this were your child. The child you have already held, loved, poured yourself into. I know what the answer is. So, it's not that 'they' can't see or agree with the process. Every parent would jump through hoops for their child.
But they still can't see it.
How can you do that for someone else's child?
That's what they don't see: this isn't someone else's child. This is not an orphan half way around the world that I am trying to help. This is my son. Five times now it has been my son. And though I am weary of the process, I will never refuse to go through the paperwork, travel, and money it takes to bring my boys home.
Paperwork is nothing in exchange for my son.'
Money is nothing in exchange for my son.
Being tired is no excuse for the exchange of my son.
Traveling around the world, jet lag, immigration, customs, passports, living out of a suitcase, doing laundry in a sink, and all of the stress of whirl-wind international travel is nothing in exchange for my son.
Leaving my other 6 children for two weeks is SO hard, but it is nothing when I weigh it against the exchange of my son.
There is nothing I wont do for my son.
So, now that you can "see" why we just do it, there is something left to discuss. How?
We hear all the time: "We could never afford international adoption." "I don't know how you afford to feed six kids, how are you going to put food on the table for 8?" "How are you going to put braces on/send 8 kids to college?" "I can't keep up with 3, I could never do 8." "If you think you are busy now, how are you going to add two more?" "You just have more patience than me." "You are my hero." "We would have considered adoption if..."
We do not have money rolling out of our ears. We are on a very strict budget. We are just like every other family out there trying to figure out 'how'. We think about and talk about braces and college at least once a week. We have always thought we were busy... and then added more. Most days we have no patience. We do not feel heroic in any way. I promise, I am just like you.
But...
I do believe in a hero that makes up all the difference. And through Him I have access to all the money, time, patience, love, forgiveness, parenting skills, supports, information, resources, and ability in the world.
My God owns the cattle upon a thousand hills. Not a sparrow shall fall without his knowledge. He dresses the lilies of the field in greater glory than Solomon in all his glory. Who he calls he justifies and glorifies. He goes before me. He will be with me. He will not fail me.
There is a story in the bible of Elisha's helper who was very afraid because he could not see the armies of the Lord surrounding them. The king of Syria had sent a large army to find Elisha. It was described as a great host of horses and chariots. When the servant of Elisha saw the great host he panicked.
"Alas, my master! how shall we do?"
This has been the response of so many around us. "Eight?! How?!"
And Elisha's response:
"Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them. And Elisha prayed, and said, Lord, I pray thee, open his eyes, that he may see. And the Lord opened the eyes of the young man; and he saw: and, behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire round about Elisha."
I can imagine what it must have been like to see the host of chariots of fire. I wonder what that young man must have felt to be overwhelmed with fear and then overwhelmed to have his eyes opened and witness the army of God.
I cannot see the army around our family with my physical eyes. But I know they are there. We receive heavenly help on a daily basis. We deserve very little credit (if any at all) for the mighty changes in our boys. This is not our story. This is not our miracle. This is our Father in Heaven knitting together a beautiful family that He had planned from the beginning. He makes beauty from ashes. He brings healing to the broken. And he sets the lonely in families.
"They that are with us are more."
I cannot see them, but I know they are there.
