Surgery... again.

It's not what you think. Nothing big or scary. Ty just needed to have his tonsils removed. Piece of cake. Except this is Ty, so there is the challenge of trying to keep the boy still.

I chuckled as the medical staff explained the post-care instructions and told me what to expect. Little did they know who they were dealing with. They told me he would be a wreck after surgery coming out of anesthesia. But then they told me to expect an unrealistic high the first few hours after arriving home. His IV meds and numbing solutions used during the surgery would give him a block from the pain. But, I was told, it was very important to stay on top of his pain meds because by the evening time when the surgery meds wore off he would get very uncomfortable. He would need to stay home from school all week. He would likely not want to eat anything so even if he only wanted popsicles and ice cream it was okay. I may need to wake him in the night to administer pain medication to stay on top of it. And he should stay quiet and rest for the first 7-10 days.

Ha.

Ty was a little pouty coming out of anesthesia and for our first 20 minutes home. But since then you can't even tell he had anything done.

The gown was a little big...

Within an hour of coming home he wanted lunch. Chicken noodle soup and apple sauce. He would have eaten anything I put in front of him and asked why this was all he could have.

That night we were invited for leftover Easter dinner at my moms. I don't turn down free food so we went. Ty gobbled down his mac and cheese dinnner with canned pears and again seemed slighted to not be enjoying what everyone else had.

After dinner Ty asked if he could go outside. I told him he was not allowed to run around. He needed to be resting. He begged so I let him out. Then had to follow him around saying, "No running! Ty, slow down. Ty, you cannot yell right now. Ty, we can't play that tonight. Ty, we need to go back inside."

He's in the white shirt, leading the pack through the bushes yelling at the top of his lungs. 

I told myself he would be up in the night. He wasn't. He slept like a rock right until breakfast. I thought he might want to stay in bed while I took everyone to school. He didn't. He got dressed and brushed his teeth and appeared in the car.

Ty got to rent a couple of new movies which kept him slightly more subdued than normal on day 2. But he was dying to go to school. He had inhaled his scrambled eggs, oatmeal and apple sauce for breakfast. Lunch was a bowl of ramen and a banana. He could not get enough. I offered him jello but he's not a big fan and asked for a popsicle instead. He was hungry all day. By the time everyone got home from school he asked if he could go the next day. Did he have to stay home? By dinner Ty was begging to go to scouts to weigh in his car for the pinewood derby. So Brad took him. He slept like a rock again.

Today he woke up asking for medicine. But within 15 minutes he was hungry and ready for breakfast. He decided to stay home one more day since his throat actually hurt when he woke up. But as I am typing this he is bouncing off the walls and I am wondering why I didn't just send him.

Trying to keep him quiet is what sent us into a nose dive after his surgery last year. So Brad and I are just watching him closely and telling ourselves it's okay if we end up in the emergency room. Keeping him still will cause more damage than the risk of bleeding. This kid needs to move. So, fingers crossed we make it through days 6 and 7 without incident (the highest risk for bleeding). I'm sure he'll be scaling trees and eating crutons by then.

Easter

I love Easter Sunday. I love seeing my kids in darling pastels. I love painting my toenails and reintroducing my legs to the sunshine in spring skirts. I love seeing Facebook posts of friends and family proclaiming their faith and belief in redemption. I love seeing all of the inspiring videos and feeling the Spirit run through me as the resurrection of Christ is depicted. I love talking to the kids about the meaning of the holiday. I love church talks and lessons about our Savior and how everyone is just a little more in tune with the joy of the resurrection. I love how everything feels light and new. 

I didn't get pictures of my favorite part of the celebration: dinner around the table. But I did get plenty of pictures of the kids' favorite part of the celebration: the egg hunt.

The Grandparents all enjoying the chaos.

Success.

And, of course, baskets full of candy-stuffed eggs are never enough when there are grandmothers around. The kids all got goodie bags from both Grandmas too. Justin was particularly happy with his Easter surprise: 2 liters of Root Beer. Nana got big hugs for her generosity.

Uncle was feeling slighted. So Amber quickly offered him some chocolate. These two have a special connection that goes even deeper than chocolate. And that says a lot considering Uncle's love of chocolate.

We had a wonderful night together. But I have to say my favorite memory this year was Justin enthusiastically volunteering to give the prayer before bedtime. He does this often these days. But his words were particularly special this time. I love to hear genuine feelings coming from my boy. He expressed deep appreciation for joy and for family. His words "joy" and "family" pierced me. Yes, he was talking about the Easter egg hunt, but he meant it. He felt it. And he loved it. This whole 'family' thing feels pretty good. And those moments of expressed appreciation are the boost that we need. His fledgling faith in gospel truths is starting to show. His prayer this night was not just repeated words he has heard spoken in church or prayed by his friends and family. There was something new in his tone this night. And I want to remember it.

Happy Easter everyone!

Golden Gate

Amber has a California State Landmark project for school so we decided to take a little day trip during Spring Break to visit the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. Brad had missed our Camarillo trip. And since Brad had spent 3 days working in the Bay Area while we were away the dogs were lonely too. So we brought them along for the trip as well.

Since we had the dogs our first stop was our favorite dog park of all time at Point Isabel. This place has a couple miles of beach that is closed in with fencing to allow a beautiful walk and huge open areas for the dogs. Our kids love coming here too. Justin said, "If you want to see all dogs just come here." He was excited to see Huskies, Great Danes, Doberman Pincers, Dachshunds, Spaniels, Retrievers, Labs, pretty much every breed. I didn't realize he was so interested in dogs.

After our time at the dog park we went straight to the bridge. Our choice of travel during Spring Break quickly became a challenge as traffic was pretty heavy, parking was a nightmare, and the crowds were a bit stifling. We spent all of our time at the bridge and Krissy Field and decided we had had enough. Our original plan to continue on into the city was quickly abandoned as we noticed the traffic was only getting worse.

But it was still a lovely day and well worth the drive to get Little Bee's project marked off the list. Family time is never wasted time.

Spring Break

Spring break this year brought eleven days out of school for my kiddos. Eleven. A road trip was mandatory.

So, for the first time since the house was sold, we went back to Camarillo. We stayed in a great hotel. And I would do it again in a heart beat. But I missed Grandma and Grandpa's house.

It was a quick 3 day trip. Just long enough to break up the time away from school. Nana came along and offered to cover the cost of one of the hotel rooms which made the trip affordable. I would have spent the entire week if I could. But we managed to squeeze everything we wanted to do into our quick 3 day trip.

The kids wanted to swim in the hotel pool the moment we arrived. So they did. After swimming we had dinner at Souplantation. Oh how I love me some Souplantation.

Justin seeing the ocean for the first time ever our first night.

Riding bikes, scooters, and skateboards along the beach trail.

Day 2 we spent the morning at the beach in Santa Monica.

After playing on the beach we drove down into Huntington Beach to visit friends. My kids LOVE to play with their friends here. Ty worked hard to learn how to drop into the skate ramp. With another 30 minutes he would have had it. All the kids jumped on the trampoline. We rode over to the park for a while. It was nice to catch up.

Amber and I have been friends from birth. Really. Her mom threw my mom a baby shower. Her mom was the first one my mom would call for a babysit swap. We lived right around the corner from each other growing up. All my friends got together for a going away party at Amber's house when my family moved to northern California when I was 10. We've managed to stay in touch all these years and years. I can't remember a time we were not friends. 

After visiting Amber and her kiddos we made a stop to meet one of Justin's friends from Ukraine. The boy on the far right went to school with Justin in Ukraine. They were in the same classes. They were both so happy to see each other. It was very sweet. Dima's parents were amazing hosts and fed my whole crew. They were so excited to have us and it was so nice to meet and visit with them.

Thursday morning we visited the grave sites of Grandma and Grandpa. Justin is always impressed by the differences between Ukraine and America. He went on and on about the cemetery. It's the little things.

We HAD to pick up some Camarillo strawberries before leaving town. They were everything we remembered them to be. I wish we had gotten more.

We stopped by the Camarillo library. Seriously, no place like it.

We drove by the old house and then I dropped Caity and Nana off for a little shopping at the outlets while I took the kids back to the hotel for one more swim. The kids got a quick 30 minutes to marco and polo it up while I packed the car. Mama's work is never done.

The California poppies all over the mountains as we drove out of town were a beautiful sight. 

I still love Camarillo.

Our Tasmanian Devil

I am aware that many times I portray Ty as being a wild child.

That is because it is true.

But I want to be careful about the way this message is received. Ty is a super fun kid. We enjoy so much about him. Joy is a perfect word to describe Ty. Everyone who meets Ty just loves him to death. I hear all the time what a great kid he is and how he is their 'favorite' in his class or group. I do not share these moments of craziness just to complain or vent. I want him to look back at these posts many years from now and say, "Really? I did that?" and KNOW with certainty that we have always loved him and enjoyed him. Especially when he makes us crazy.

Ty has a problem with clothing. I am sure that his school teacher wonders about our care for him. Because I can send him to school with brand new pants and shoes, a clean shirt, a well-kept (even hand-me-down) jacket and nice backpack in the morning but by the time he comes home that afternoon he looks like I pulled his wardrobe out of the dump.

Don't believe me? These are Ty's school shoes I just replaced.

This kid is hard on shoes. And pants. And really anything in his possession. We have taken to calling him our Tasmanian Devil lately because it seems anything within a 5 foot radius is often consumed in a cloud of dust and spat back out destroyed. 

Again, hear my tone. We find this amusing... most of the time.

This school year alone Ty has gone through 13 pairs of school uniform pants. Thirteen. And he has only been wearing pants since November. Many rainy or cloudy days he will still wear shorts. I have him continue to wear the pants until they are obviously beyond acceptable. Small holes are ignored. They have to be wide open to be discarded. And stains mean nothing. This boy comes home with things on his pants we can't even guess the origin of. 

I know what you are thinking: all boys tear holes in the knees of their pants. But remember, I have 4 boys. Ty alone uses up his wardrobe faster than the other 3 boys combined.

My kids all have separate clothes and shoes for after school. They all change right after arriving home before snack time. School uniforms and shoes are only worn during school hours. This was Ty's first pair of after school play shoes this year. He received them in September.

So these shoes were worn after school and weekends September through December whenever flip flops were not in use. I decided since they had a hole we needed a new pair for our trip to Utah in the snow. So I bought this pair less than 10 weeks ago.

They already have a hole.

When I bought the pair for Utah I new he needed another pair for school because there were also holes in those shoes. But I didn't think a new pair would make it through the end of the school year so I waited. Admittedly, I waited a little too long. But a week and a half ago what was left on his shoes disintegrated into this:

So waiting was no longer an option. We have 12 weeks of school left. I have my fingers crossed the new pair can make it that long. And I will gladly welcome the summer weather so he can start wearing cheap flip flops to play again.

Even after the 14th pair of pants and 4th pair of shoes in 6 months, we love our little Taz.

J-K-C-O-B

When Amber was about 3 or 4 I started something called 'mommy and me time.' Not only was this my attempt to spend quality one-on-one time with my middle child, I was also trying to address some of Amber's sensory struggles through Occupational Therapy play. We did all kinds of hands on stimulating play: shave cream, sand, finger painting, water play, bubble play, tumbling, painting our bodies, obstacle courses, etc etc. This was a turning point for Amber. We started to connect, she started to 'feel' her body with control, and she became more enjoyable.

The past few weeks Jacob and I have started mommy and me time. As the youngest of 6 kids, Jacob definitely needs this one-on-one time with mom. Jacob also shows signs of many sensory struggles just like our Little B (Amber) though he is on the opposite side of the struggle. Where Amber felt everything and was often in a continual state of overload, Jacob struggles to feel anything. This is super common for little ones who have spent their first year(s) in an institutional setting. He has been loving this special messy play time with mom and will ask me every morning, "You wanna play wiss me?"

Jacob has been working hard at his speech preschool to spell his name. For one reason or another he struggles to pronounce the letter 'A' and always says 'K' instead. The other day we were painting the shower with colored shave cream and I figured it was a good opportunity to practice.

This is a memory I will not soon forget. Love this little cherub.

My Little Warrior

Anxiety. Panic attacks. Do you know what they feel like?

We've all felt anxious from time to time. We all recognize "butterflies" before a big event. Many of you out there probably know what it feels like to have a near-miss situation that gets your fight or flight response triggered. You know, when the person in front of you swerves into your lane, or you stumble while stepping down off a ladder or chair, or sometimes even just watching one of your children get injured will bring that heart-pumping tingly feeling throughout your body. When it has happened to me some of my large muscles will ache and burn and I usually have to breath deeply for just a minute to make it go away. These are little shadows of what genuine anxiety and panic are like.

I can identify two times in my life that I have felt true anxiety and panic. Anxiety occurred a handful of times during my struggles with PPD. Usually when leaving home or entering certain areas of home. It was a very uncomfortable feeling that I could not identify or explain. I just felt really agitated. If I was away from home I really wanted to go back. And inside my house certain areas made me feel like I needed to run away. It was fight or flight. But there was no danger. I was on high alert, ready to move but no where to go.

And the only time I can say I have experienced true panic was just this year when I had bronchitis. I experienced something called a bronchial spasm which is the same symptoms of an asthma attack. I could not get enough air and I started to panic. My head was spinning, my arms were tingling, my heart was beating fast, I felt the need to move and pace at the same time I felt weak and disoriented. It was a terrible feeling. 

These are very real physiological reactions that anxiety and panic attacks cause a person to feel whether or not there is any kind of real danger. Adults and children who face anxiety and panic regularly are warriors. I have one of these little warriors in my home.

During the fourth grade year students have the opportunity to participate in an over night field trip. Our school goes to Coloma Resort where they learn about the gold rush first hand. When Caitlin was in fourth grade I was able to accompany her class as a chaperon. It is a fantastic camp.

Amber started talking about this field trip last year long before any of the other students even seemed to be aware of it. We've been preparing her ever since. It has been a year of preparation that paid off in a major way. Her over night experience was not without incident, but my little warrior fought through and had an amazing time at camp. There is nothing she can't do.

Bottom right, next to her favorite teacher ever.

Things we did to prepare our warrior to fight her 'worry bug':

-identify the worry bug: we gave him a name. We talked about what he does to her body and how to identify when he was trying to be in charge (tingly arms and legs, fast breathing, achy muscles, feeling her own heart beat, feeling scared or confused, etc)

-practice breathing techniques during calm and control

-limit sensory overload with Dramamine, ear plugs, a stress ball, non-restrictive clothing, and a plan of action of where to go to decompress if needed

-identify what areas she needed control: Amber has anxiety specific to traveling in the car and car sickness. So this was an area she needed to feel control. Mom drove her to and from the camp in our big van with 5 other students. The kids in our car were asked ahead of time if they needed Dramamine and supplies were on hand. We reviewed everything before we left. She knew we were ready no matter what.

-comfort items: we talked for months about what to say to the other kids about her 'special' items if they asked. Amber doesn't want to stick out and 4th grade is a tough time to be different. We built her confidence in using her own tools to battle the worry bug. She took her best stuffie 'dewdrop' for the bunk house. She chose photos of mom and some others to have on hand. She kept a bag with her ear plugs and stress ball. She knew what she wanted, she just needed permission and confidence to use them.

-make any scenario okay: we talked about 'what would happen if'. Amber knew she could call me. She knew I would drive all the way up there if she needed me. And she could even come home if it came to it. Each time we talked about these scenarios I would say something like, "I know you wont need it, but just in case, it is okay to..." Confidence first, reassurance second.

This victory was about much more than just one over night field trip. This was Amber's first opportunity to prove that she can stand alone. Even without a family member for miles around. She is strong enough. She is in charge of that wild little body and she can do anything she sets her mind to.

So proud of my little warrior.

Grom in training

"A grommet (grom) is a young participant in extreme sports. Originally, a grommet was a surfer under the age of 16. In recent years, this has expanded to include other extreme sports, most notably skateboarding and snowboarding."

We have known Ty would be a ripper on the mountain since we first met him. He has a natural athletic ability and a drive that just wont quit. We could not wait to get him started. 

Snowboarding and skiing are no longer inexpensive sports. When we used to take the girls a limited season pass was down right cheap for the smaller resorts in our area. We have not been back to snowboard since starting our first adoption in 2011. Fundraising to bring our boys home didn't leave a lot of extra change laying around. Our annual season passes were gladly scratched off the budget to get our sons home where they belong. But while we were away, many of the resorts in our area have expanded and raised their prices. Our favorite winter activity is a little further from our grasp with now 8 family members wanting to get on the hill.

But after my brother took Amber skiing a few weeks ago, Brad and I could not hold back. We had to get Ty up that mountain. So we told him we would take him for his birthday, just the 3 of us.

So glad we did. It was a great day.

In the year and a half Ty has been home we have not had the chance to do anything like this with just the three of us. I can't say he has ever had both of our undivided attention for this long of a period. Ever. 


He soaked it up.

I cannot wait to scour the area for cheap used ski and snowboard equipment for the kids this summer. We've got to get these kids on the mountain next year. We have missed it. And they are so ready.

Chinese New Year 2016!

Happy New Year!! (better late than never)

We had another great celebration for Chinese New Year. Ty and Justin were full of questions. I love connecting our boys to their heritage. It is fun to learn something new and try to honor the rich history of our children's birth countries.

This year we continued our tradition of home made Chinese food, red envelopes, and a story about Chinese New Year.

New to our celebration this year was a few little fireworks.

It was a simple and quick little party. But it was perfect.