Trust the Mama

Daddy went home today. And if I were to sum up our day today I would say it has been a very long lesson in trusting mama. At first it felt like maybe Justin was trying to take on the "strong male" role in the absence of his dad. Which would be kind of cute. But it became apparent rather quickly that it is going to take a while longer for this boy to trust his mama.

Mother figures in our son's past have not exactly made this an easy job for me. He likes me just fine. We get along great. He is very sweet and thoughtful. But trust? Not yet. And probably not for quiet a while.

We started the day by sleeping in. Our vacation is coming to an end. All of the luxuries will soon be gone and sleeping in will come to an abrupt stop. I woke with Brad at 6:30 to say goodbye and then ever-so-indulgently went right back to sleep. I relished in a solid hour of quiet time all to myself after waking while Justin enjoyed his opportunity to be lazy. We had purchased some food last night for breakfast so I had no reason to wake him.

When we finally got our act together around 11 am Justin came to ask me, "What are we to be doing today?" I told him I wanted to go to the zoo. We planned to ride the subway and stopped to exchange some money. When we exited the metro station on the other side of town Justin said, "I don't know where to go. Let's go here!" and tried to take off. I replied with calling him back and looking at the map and directing him. We had a few minutes of volley where I tried to gently coax him into following my instruction. He did not believe I knew what I was doing. I got us within about 100 yards of the zoo and he said, "I do not know where we are, I ask this man."

Not sure what was wrong with the guy he asked but he instructed Justin to turn around and get on a trolley bus headed in the opposite direction. I had a gut feeling the zoo was very close (the map could have been wrong, but sometimes mamas just know). But, to be honest, I was tired of making my gentle argument. Justin was not being defiant. I just wanted him to experience and discover on his own that it is usually best to just listen to mom. And we had all day to find the zoo so I just calmly said, "I will follow you."

So our goose chase began.

About 30 minutes later Justin was loosing his mind. He was frustrated. He had gotten a bit sassy. So, I stepped back in and said, "How about we take a taxi?" He gladly agreed. And wouldn't you know it, the taxi took us right back where we came from. About 100 yards from the crazy guy with the bad directions was the entrance to the zoo. Had he waited 30 more seconds as we walked the first time we would have seen it.

When we got out of the taxi I stopped to make eye contact with my boy and told him, "You need to trust me, I know what I am doing. Let's go have fun."

This was only the beginning of the lesson. Inside the zoo my boy continued to push back just a bit. He wanted to guide the way (having no idea where to go). It's pretty simple, and he's old enough to figure it out on his own without getting lost: you need to follow mom. I just went at the pace I wanted in the direction I wanted and gave him the opportunity to follow. He's a smart kid, and at heart respectful, so he caught on quick enough. And he started to realize I knew my way around a zoo, even in a foreign country.

I love to see this smile.

He would have missed out on the entire reptile and insect exhibits (which were very impressive, and I've been to a zoo or two in my life time) and several of the big cats without me. His mood improved significantly when he realized there was more to see in the zoo than he thought and mom was indeed capable of leading the way.

Justin got a kick out of the fact that I don't exactly love spiders... okay, it is more accurate to say they are pretty much God's only creature I dislike entirely. But, anyway, he loved having something to tease me with.

Jacob has a Gecko book that he loves. Flat Jacob needed a picture with the gecko.

Elephant, Lions, Tigers, Gorilla. They had it all: Hippos, Rhinos, Giraffe, Zebra, you name it, they had it. This was an impressive zoo for the equivalent of $3.50 entrance fee (That's for both of us!)

By the time we left the zoo Justin's happy, playful disposition had returned.

Justin willingly followed me to the metro this time, but CONSTANTLY kept a dialogue of, "I don't know where to go. Is this the right way? Do you know where to go? Are you sure?" I just kept responding in the affirmative and saying, "Trust me, son, it is okay." By the time we made it to the subway platform he relaxed enough to joke a bit. I hesitated for just a minute to make sure we were on the right train (since I can't read the signs) to which he smirked at me and said, "Trust me, mom, it is okay." Love this boy's sense of humor and relatively steady positive attitude.

Next was lunch. The lesson continued. I wanted to take him to a bakery we had been to just a few days ago. He did not remember the way. I did. Any guess what happened? The constant questions returned, "Where are we going? Is this right street? You know where we going?" When the bakery came into view he put his hands on his head and said, "Oh! I did not know it was here!" Trust the mama.

Seriously love this lemonade.

I am beginning to see one of the reasons Justin and I needed to stay in Kiev without Brad. My boy needs these natural lessons with just mom. At home there are 5 other kiddos. These lessons cannot happen as naturally with them in the mix. I am suddenly grateful for this opportunity to have 3 days alone in a big, unfamiliar city with my boy.

After lunch we returned to the apartment for a couple hours of down time. Justin was able to Skype with another friend. I was able to enjoy some mid-day scripture study. It was lovely.

At 6:00 I told Justin I wanted to go to a concert at the church. The missionaries had invited us last Sunday and I was tired of being in the apartment at that point. He wasn't super enthused but this was not for his benefit. It was a reason to get out of the apartment and speak some English with some nice people in a familiar place. So, off we went. As we exited the building Justin asked, "Do you know where to go?" Sigh.

We enjoyed the "concert" and program put on. Since I couldn't understand a word of it and Justin is a 15-year-old who would much rather be somewhere else, we had a great time playing with each other and being slightly disruptive in the back row. Not the greatest example from mom, but an excellent bonding opportunity. We still paid attention and were respectful. I just made it a little more  fun  bearable for my teenager who is brand-new to the idea of church functions.

Truth be told it was a beautiful performance and even through the language I could not understand I could feel the Spirit. And Justin, despite his best efforts to appear anxious to leave, frequently translated for me and nudged me when I was distracting him with my antics. He was absorbing more than he put on.

This sister missionary from Texas reminds me a lot of my Caity. They both have beautiful voices and fun personalities. So I got a picture of her with flat Caity.

After the concert Justin and I made our way back to the square for dinner. Having successfully navigated us to the church building through Justin's input (I stopped to give descriptions and reasons why his memory of the way was close but not 100% accurate more than once) he finally took the backseat and allowed me to guide us home without input beyond an occasional, "Oh, I know this."

We went to dinner and had a great time together waiting for our food. I love his playful personality. He is going to be a lady killer at home. Flirting is his natural default. 

As we left the restaurant it started to drizzle just a bit. The city was gorgeous all lit up in the light gentle rain. I am going to miss this city when we leave.

And now, to bed!

A Little Piece of Good Ol' America

Today was our final appointment at the Embassy. It's official. Justin will be an American citizen when that plane touches down Monday afternoon.

Spending time at the Embassy always feels good at the end of these adoption trips. It is, quite literally, American soil. The building feels familiar. It smells familiar. The bathrooms are familiar (toilet paper, soap, paper towels, and a fresh-clean smell!). There are other Americans there. People speak really good English (in all fairness, MANY Ukrainians speak really good English). And every time we are at the Embassy my heart swells to see our flag flying. I love my country.

Our time at the Embassy was smooth and easy. And Justin was SO excited to have his completed passport with the American visa inside.

He asked for 3 pictures of his passport. This boy is so ready to come home.

Now that everything is 100% complete and our plane ticket issue is settled, we decided it was time for another celebration. Natasha suggested American food. She took us to TGIFridays. We didn't know it was here! How have we not eaten here yet?! It was so good.

Daddy finally gets a hamburger.

After lunch we went to an amazing monastery with underground catacombs. Ah-mazing.

11th century church at the entrance.

The paintings inside the churches are always breathtaking.

The monastery was bombed in 1941. This is a portion of the original foundation for the church behind. 

The main church rebuilt

Gorgeous inside.

You can see the dome on the left is original. Also the brick portion of the middle base structure. They left as much of the original structure as possible and rebuilt around it.

Beautiful view with the Lady of the Motherland in the background.

We were not able to take pictures in the catacombs. But, oh my, how awesome. Brad and I found it very interesting to note that in order to enter the tombs (considered a Holy area) all visitors, believers of the Ukrainian Orthodox faith or not, are required to don a green apron around their waste and the women are required to cover their heads.

Inside the underground tunnels are more than a dozen saints. Medical testing has been done to prove that they were never mummified or preserved. The climate of the caves is not preserving them in any way. They say that during testing it was discovered that there is some kind of "aura" around the bodies on the scans and x-rays. The people believe the bodies are being preserved through divine power. Only the hands are left exposed in the glass coffins. Although, people of the Ukrainian Orthodox faith, or "believers" as our guide said, are allowed to come into the tombs during certain celebrations when the coffins are opened and the people are allowed to touch the saints. The tombs are not lit so we all walked with candles in the dark and used the candles to see inside the coffins. It was very cool.

As we exited the catacombs our guide said, "Non-believers can blow out the candle and place it in this bin. Believers can place the candles in the candelabra in the church." (the exit from the tombs passed through the church) Justin had a very worried look on his face and hesitated a moment before placing his candle in the candelabra and crossing himself 3 times before hurrying out of the church. 

When Brad and I came out of the church Justin asked me if I liked the tombs. I said yes. He told me, "I do not like." and shuddered. After just a moment of reflection he corrected his statement with, "Well, I like a little bit." This boy has some serious superstitions (He freaked out about a black cat the other day). I have a feeling the bodies of the saints (and exposed hands) may have made him a little nervous. But with a minute to think about it he realized the coolness factor.

After the tombs we went through an exhibition of microscopic art. It was quite amazing to see a chess set on the tip of a pin, a ship complete with sails the size of a grain of rice, and a 12 page book the size of a baby's finger nail.

Before we left we climbed another bell tower.

We headed back to our apartment for a little down time and to Skype with the kids. Then it was off to dinner and, of course, ice cream. When we got back to the apartment we were blessed with a beautiful sunset for Brad's last night in Ukraine.

Goodbye, Poltava.

Yesterday (Wednesday) we said goodbye to Poltava. It is interesting to me they way that Brad and I feel about Tver, Russia and Poltava, Ukraine. It is home to us. It feels comfortable. We miss both of these towns when we are away. We do not feel the same way about Moscow (love the city, it is just not home) or Kyiv (same thing, love it, but not home) or any of the cities in China (amazing to visit, but not even close to home). But Poltava and Tver, we would go back a hundred times. It was hard to say goodbye to Poltava. We will miss it.

We don't have many pictures for the day as we spent the entire time running from office to office getting Justin's passport complete. It was truly just a day of driving from place to place, signing documents and registering petitions and paperwork.

When our work was finally through we stopped for dinner and a celebratory dessert. You would think this would be a great opportunity for some pictures, but Brad had to be on all 3 electronic devices trying to change our flights. Originally we booked flights for Brad to come home the 31st to return to work and Justin and I to fly home the 6th in case of any delays with the passport or visa. But, with passport in hand and embassy appointment scheduled Justin and I could go home.

And so the battle began. The airline doesn't want to just transfer tickets. Ever. Under any circumstances. Period. They want you to simply purchase new tickets. Only, in this case, new tickets were going to run us and additional $5,000. Five. Thousand. Dollars. That was nearly twice as much as we had paid for the tickets we already have. Fortunately, Heavenly Father had one more miracle in store for us. After about 3 hours on the phone with about 8 different people, Brad finally found someone who was sympathetic to our situation. She managed to get Justin and I new tickets to arrive home mid-day on Monday rather than our previous itinerary of arriving at midnight on Thursday.

This new flight arrangement was a major blessing as we have a family wedding out of state August 8th and would not have been able to attend together with our previous flight plan. In fact, I was going to have to leave my 6 kids behind with daddy for the weekend to be able to participate. Not an ideal welcome for our new son nor a healing situation for the other little boys in our family who are desperately wanting their mama at this point.

God has provided at every turn in this adoption. I am continually amazed at His miracles and tender mercies. It may seem like a trivial thing, but for me, this was an enormous answer to fervent prayer. God is good.

After the battle with the airlines it was time to take the train back into Kyiv. By the way, for anyone wondering (like I was) the spelling "Kiev" is the Russian transliteration. The spelling "Kyiv" is the Ukrainian transliteration. Obviously, it is the same city.

Our taxi driver from all 3 trips (love that guy) and Justin's teacher who helped with all of the paperwork in Poltava. We will miss them so much.

Poltava is so very beautiful.

We arrived in Kyiv around 11:00 and made our way to our apartment. It was drizzling outside and the city was beautiful all lit up in the dark. We have a different apartment this time on the 8th floor. It is a little more fancy than the last apartment and Justin was quite excited to explore all of the accommodations. He was all smiles and energy. We finally made it to bed at midnight.

Back in Poltava

It is SO good to have a real internet connection again! Skyping, Blogging, Facebook and Vk. Ah, the joys of modern technology... that works!

Today it was a beautifully cool morning with a gentle drizzle. We were happy to walk to breakfast in the crisp, fresh air.

When we finished breakfast, however, there was a slight increase in precipitation...

Our boy who was so cranky to see the rain yesterday quickly realized that the rain can be fun when you don't worry about getting wet. We ran. We splashed. We pretended to shower. Later this morning Justin told our facilitator: I love this weather. Ha! Fickle little fella. It's all about perspective.

After our little jaunt in the rain we packed up and headed for the train station.

The ride was beautiful, fast, and comfortable. Much more enjoyable than the drive.

Yesterday Justin asked if we could make one more trip to camp to say goodbye again. He is missing his friends and said they were begging him to come back. Given his hiccup yesterday we figured some extra closure might be good for him so we said yes. He was so excited. The entire train ride he was practically giddy.

When we arrived in Poltava we stopped for dinner at Hutarok one more time. Justin was down right goofy. It was fun to play and flirt with him. He can be so much fun.

Best lemonade in the world. Holy cow. Gotta find some of this at home.

Justin's selection.

Part of Brad's meal. Such good beef.

After dinner it was time to visit camp. I made sure to take a few extra pictures this time while the kids were busy eating dinner. It was awkward to take pictures during our previous visits with all of the kids around. This is a really nice camp. It is not just for orphans, families send their kids here for summer camp too.

Bunk area

Dining Hall

Exercise area

Amphitheater

Then we gave the phone to Justin and told him he could take pictures or videos if he wanted. A few of his selections:

Before we left Justin asked if he could stay the night in camp. We told him that even though it is hard to leave, it was time. It was, again, bitter sweet. He handled it well. But those reality wheels are continuing to turn in his mind. When we got back to the hotel we got him on Skype with some more friends who have been adopted to the US and he perked back up. 

Our son is amazing. It takes some serious strength to leave what you know for something you can't really understand yet. So proud of him.