Trust the Mama

Daddy went home today. And if I were to sum up our day today I would say it has been a very long lesson in trusting mama. At first it felt like maybe Justin was trying to take on the "strong male" role in the absence of his dad. Which would be kind of cute. But it became apparent rather quickly that it is going to take a while longer for this boy to trust his mama.

Mother figures in our son's past have not exactly made this an easy job for me. He likes me just fine. We get along great. He is very sweet and thoughtful. But trust? Not yet. And probably not for quiet a while.

We started the day by sleeping in. Our vacation is coming to an end. All of the luxuries will soon be gone and sleeping in will come to an abrupt stop. I woke with Brad at 6:30 to say goodbye and then ever-so-indulgently went right back to sleep. I relished in a solid hour of quiet time all to myself after waking while Justin enjoyed his opportunity to be lazy. We had purchased some food last night for breakfast so I had no reason to wake him.

When we finally got our act together around 11 am Justin came to ask me, "What are we to be doing today?" I told him I wanted to go to the zoo. We planned to ride the subway and stopped to exchange some money. When we exited the metro station on the other side of town Justin said, "I don't know where to go. Let's go here!" and tried to take off. I replied with calling him back and looking at the map and directing him. We had a few minutes of volley where I tried to gently coax him into following my instruction. He did not believe I knew what I was doing. I got us within about 100 yards of the zoo and he said, "I do not know where we are, I ask this man."

Not sure what was wrong with the guy he asked but he instructed Justin to turn around and get on a trolley bus headed in the opposite direction. I had a gut feeling the zoo was very close (the map could have been wrong, but sometimes mamas just know). But, to be honest, I was tired of making my gentle argument. Justin was not being defiant. I just wanted him to experience and discover on his own that it is usually best to just listen to mom. And we had all day to find the zoo so I just calmly said, "I will follow you."

So our goose chase began.

About 30 minutes later Justin was loosing his mind. He was frustrated. He had gotten a bit sassy. So, I stepped back in and said, "How about we take a taxi?" He gladly agreed. And wouldn't you know it, the taxi took us right back where we came from. About 100 yards from the crazy guy with the bad directions was the entrance to the zoo. Had he waited 30 more seconds as we walked the first time we would have seen it.

When we got out of the taxi I stopped to make eye contact with my boy and told him, "You need to trust me, I know what I am doing. Let's go have fun."

This was only the beginning of the lesson. Inside the zoo my boy continued to push back just a bit. He wanted to guide the way (having no idea where to go). It's pretty simple, and he's old enough to figure it out on his own without getting lost: you need to follow mom. I just went at the pace I wanted in the direction I wanted and gave him the opportunity to follow. He's a smart kid, and at heart respectful, so he caught on quick enough. And he started to realize I knew my way around a zoo, even in a foreign country.

I love to see this smile.

He would have missed out on the entire reptile and insect exhibits (which were very impressive, and I've been to a zoo or two in my life time) and several of the big cats without me. His mood improved significantly when he realized there was more to see in the zoo than he thought and mom was indeed capable of leading the way.

Justin got a kick out of the fact that I don't exactly love spiders... okay, it is more accurate to say they are pretty much God's only creature I dislike entirely. But, anyway, he loved having something to tease me with.

Jacob has a Gecko book that he loves. Flat Jacob needed a picture with the gecko.

Elephant, Lions, Tigers, Gorilla. They had it all: Hippos, Rhinos, Giraffe, Zebra, you name it, they had it. This was an impressive zoo for the equivalent of $3.50 entrance fee (That's for both of us!)

By the time we left the zoo Justin's happy, playful disposition had returned.

Justin willingly followed me to the metro this time, but CONSTANTLY kept a dialogue of, "I don't know where to go. Is this the right way? Do you know where to go? Are you sure?" I just kept responding in the affirmative and saying, "Trust me, son, it is okay." By the time we made it to the subway platform he relaxed enough to joke a bit. I hesitated for just a minute to make sure we were on the right train (since I can't read the signs) to which he smirked at me and said, "Trust me, mom, it is okay." Love this boy's sense of humor and relatively steady positive attitude.

Next was lunch. The lesson continued. I wanted to take him to a bakery we had been to just a few days ago. He did not remember the way. I did. Any guess what happened? The constant questions returned, "Where are we going? Is this right street? You know where we going?" When the bakery came into view he put his hands on his head and said, "Oh! I did not know it was here!" Trust the mama.

Seriously love this lemonade.

I am beginning to see one of the reasons Justin and I needed to stay in Kiev without Brad. My boy needs these natural lessons with just mom. At home there are 5 other kiddos. These lessons cannot happen as naturally with them in the mix. I am suddenly grateful for this opportunity to have 3 days alone in a big, unfamiliar city with my boy.

After lunch we returned to the apartment for a couple hours of down time. Justin was able to Skype with another friend. I was able to enjoy some mid-day scripture study. It was lovely.

At 6:00 I told Justin I wanted to go to a concert at the church. The missionaries had invited us last Sunday and I was tired of being in the apartment at that point. He wasn't super enthused but this was not for his benefit. It was a reason to get out of the apartment and speak some English with some nice people in a familiar place. So, off we went. As we exited the building Justin asked, "Do you know where to go?" Sigh.

We enjoyed the "concert" and program put on. Since I couldn't understand a word of it and Justin is a 15-year-old who would much rather be somewhere else, we had a great time playing with each other and being slightly disruptive in the back row. Not the greatest example from mom, but an excellent bonding opportunity. We still paid attention and were respectful. I just made it a little more  fun  bearable for my teenager who is brand-new to the idea of church functions.

Truth be told it was a beautiful performance and even through the language I could not understand I could feel the Spirit. And Justin, despite his best efforts to appear anxious to leave, frequently translated for me and nudged me when I was distracting him with my antics. He was absorbing more than he put on.

This sister missionary from Texas reminds me a lot of my Caity. They both have beautiful voices and fun personalities. So I got a picture of her with flat Caity.

After the concert Justin and I made our way back to the square for dinner. Having successfully navigated us to the church building through Justin's input (I stopped to give descriptions and reasons why his memory of the way was close but not 100% accurate more than once) he finally took the backseat and allowed me to guide us home without input beyond an occasional, "Oh, I know this."

We went to dinner and had a great time together waiting for our food. I love his playful personality. He is going to be a lady killer at home. Flirting is his natural default. 

As we left the restaurant it started to drizzle just a bit. The city was gorgeous all lit up in the light gentle rain. I am going to miss this city when we leave.

And now, to bed!