When the "Why?" is revealed

There are not many details of the timing for our adoptions that has made sense. I remember feeling an urgency to complete our paperwork for Jacob's adoption. I remember feeling anxious when our first trip was delayed. I couldn't explain it, other than to say my mama heart needed my baby home. But I just had a feeling we needed to not delay. When Russia chose to pass the adoption ban we felt an immediate confirmation that the timing of his adoption was divine.

Had we waited or been delayed just 8 weeks at any point in the process we would not have brought him home. We knew several families who were much closer to the cutoff than we were. We even knew families who had been matched to children they were never allowed to meet. We did not have an Indiana Jones last-minute escape with our boy. But to realize the difference a few weeks could have made was sobering.

Six months later when I just could not shake the feeling that we needed to start another adoption we again wondered, "Why now?" Brad had just gone through a scary job change including 11 weeks without a paycheck. Being only 6 months after the completion of our $65,000 Russian adoption we were in no financial position to pursue another $30-$40,000 adoption. But we could not shake the feeling that NOW was the time.

There were many details in Ty's adoption journey that made it crystal clear a divine timing and purpose were in play. God brought together so many families through our first China adoption that hind sight has been overwhelming. Read one of the pieces of this miracle here. 

While in China we met a family who lead us to another of our sons. Without Ty there would be no Justin.

Just three months after arriving home from China that urgency was back. NOW was again necessary. And I will be the first to admit our first response was, "Why?" We were again beginning an international adoption with $0 set aside to complete the process. We were only 3 months into the changes of our most recent adoption. None of the details made sense. But it was a NOW.

When Justin arrived home just weeks before his 16th birthday (the day his country would have deemed him ineligible for adoption) I had a similar feeling to Jacob's adoption. What if we had waited? What if? Just a few short weeks would have, again, made all the difference.

And now here we are again. We have completed another international adoption when the details didn't make sense but the NOW was evident. And yet again, just a few short weeks after arriving home the answer has become clear.

China has just released new requirements for international adoption of their children. The new requirements would have prohibited us from adopting both our boys. China is no longer allowing families with more than 5 children living in the home to adopt. Beyond that they are also not allowing the adoption of more than one child at a time.

Before my travel, when Brad and I were unsure how we would manage to complete this adoption, we discussed the possibility of traveling for Nathan first, before he would age out, and going back for Aiden. We wonder now if China would have allowed us to delay Aiden's adoption and return for him. All of that angst, all of that worry about finding a way to get both of these boys home was for a reason. They both needed to come home. NOW.

While I was in China by myself for three weeks I continued to ask, "Why? Why now? Why two?" If we had pursued the adoption of one at a time Brad and I could have traveled together. If there had been more time we could have traveled together. (Ignore the selfish tantrum in the background)

From the first day I spoke the words to Brad, "I think there are two." we immediately began to wonder why? Why now? Why two? Since coming home we have had some challenges (not related to the new boys) that have made us ask, "Why now? Why add TWO more to our family now?"

I am so grateful we did not wait. I am so glad the plan all along was for these two boys to come to us together NOW.

God's perfect timing is always just that: perfect. Even when we can't see it. Even when we are too selfish to appreciate it. Even when we are overwhelmed by it.

Perfect.

Pocket Man Turns Eight

Another Birthday has come and gone. My littlest guy is another year older. When I think of the changes that have happened in this little boy's life over the past 5 years I actually admire him.

At each visit to the doctors office and at the beginning of each new school year I fill out a questionnaire. On each survey I am asked the same question at some point: Has your child experienced any major changes over the past year? Examples given are divorce, a move or change of residence, the addition of a sibling, etc.

When I take inventory of Drew's last 5 consecutive years I can't help but think he is one amazing little guy. He has not only endured massive change after massive change, he has thrived. This boy has welcomed 5 brothers in 5 years. He has been dethroned as the baby. Disrupted in his birth order again and again. He was left in the care of others while his parents traveled weeks on end time and time again. He has changed homes. And he has done it all while staying his sweet little self.

In keeping with tradition we celebrated a number of times the week before his birthday with family. The day of the actual birthday there was an abundance of sugar in the form of donuts for breakfast and ice cream after dinner. And when we return home from our vacation I am sure there will be another party for friends. Most of Drew's friends think his birthday is in July because we never manage to get a party planned before the holiday. 

To my special little guy:

You were my first boy. I thought you would be my only. You have stolen a piece of my heart that know one else can hold. I pretend that I don't want you to get bigger and grow up. But I know someday it will be so fun to see the man you will become. I can't wait to see you grow.

All my love on your special day,

Mama

The goings on

I will catch up one step at a time. Still so far behind...

We clean up pretty good...

These two are fitting right in. That would be a dog pile on dad.

Memorial Day

Hooray for summer break!

Lunch with daddy at the office. 

Boys were made for dirt.

We found a tiny snake in our skimmer. The boys were thrilled.

One of our favorite hot-day spots. Amber still wears a wet suit and life vest for sensory comfort. The new boys wear life jackets for extra safety. This is a great spot to swim and play without having to worry about being swept away or pulled under in a big river. This year especially we appreciated this area.

I love that smile.

There is always an adventure.

The First Birthday

One of my very favorite parts of the honeymoon phase is 'firsts'. The first park, the first lake, the first hike, the first family dinner. It's just fun doing everything for the first time. It is especially fun when those 'firsts' are absolutely thrilling to my boy. Squeals, laughter, gasps, and facial expressions of pure awe bring the best feelings to my mama heart. 

Every day is like this with Aiden. He is a boy who loves life. He is just excited to be alive. Being around him and watching his excitement is so amazing. Finding joy in the most simple things is Aiden's gift. It is a privileged just to watch.

Aiden didn't know it was his birthday until we arrived at Nana and Papa's house for dinner. We had told him but he didn't understand. He saw the gifts and asked who we were celebrating. When we pointed to him he absolutely lit up. Having seen both Nathan and Caity celebrate their birthdays in the weeks before his special day made everything very predictable for Aiden. Once he finally understood that we were celebrating HIS birthday he knew exactly what was coming. He anticipated each step eagerly.

It always begins with the special red plate. 

He was SO excited for us to sing to him. I love that he didn't make it through the song before blowing out the candles. He was watching me for a cue. I inadvertently gave it too soon. But it was so sweet that he couldn't hold back. He knew those candles needed to be blown out!

The first birthday has come and gone. I can't wait for the next one when he can pick his own special dinner, request a birthday party with friends, voice requests for gifts and help read his birthday cards. So much will change in a year. 

To my special guy on your special day,

We knew long before the day we met you would be special. I knew you would change our family. I knew you had stolen my heart the moment I saw your video. I had no idea just how fun this would be. I love the joy you bring. I can't wait to watch you grow. 

All my love on your special day,

Mama