Adoption Awareness- The Disadvantage of Being a Boy

When we first started our adoption journey 2 years ago, we knew going in that we wanted to adopt a boy. Maybe it was a premonition, maybe it was the selfish desire for a balanced family, I know we both wanted Drew to have a brother, but whatever the reason we just knew we were adopting a boy.

Once the decision had been made to pursue an adoption from Russia we started learning about the orphans there. At the time we adopted we were told there were over 700,000 orphans in Russia. But what surprised me was hearing that the majority of the available children were boys. In fact we were told that on average there were 16 boys available for every 1 girl. We were told that the wait time for a referral from Russia was longer for girls but boys were immediately available.

Now that we are adopting from China we have learned yet again that boys wait longer. Because so many girls were available from China in the past, people seem to assume that it is impossible or unusual to adopt boys from China.  This is a HUGE misconception!  Approximately 75% of the children waiting for families in China are boys!

When we started the process this time around we wanted to leave gender undecided and just see what Heavenly Father had in mind. Until we were told, "If you are willing to accept a boy...". I honestly don't remember how that sentence finished. I think it was in reference to how long the process would take start to finish. But I remember distinctly the feeling I had when I heard those words. If you are willing to accept a boy. The statement was not made to make me feel as though that would be the lesser choice, but it did. It made me feel for just a moment that the boys were somehow less valuable.

Why?

Why do boys wait longer? Why are there more boys available? Why does the general public assume that boys are not even available specifically in China?

This fact is true in most countries. All around the world boys remain on shared lists and wait and wait while girls their same age and with a similar special need are adopted. Several agencies will list wait times for referral separately for boys and girls because is it so significant. Most will say: 'boys immediately available' while the wait time for girls is 6 months or more.

This is not only a common issue abroad. The most common legally-free and adoptable children in the United States are 9 year old boys.

Everyone who pursues adoption does so with a conviction in their heart. And I believe that families should be able to say, "We feel called to adopt a little girl" in the same way that we felt called to adopt a little boy from Russia.

But I still think people need to know. Boys are valuable! Boys bring joy! Boys need rescuing just as much as the girls. And boys long for family too.