I have come to realize these videos have become a therapy for me. I am able to see all of the positive experiences we have had together in such a short amount of time. I am able to recall and recognize how far we have all come. And I am able to immediately feel overwhelmed with gratitutde and love for my son. Some days the boost of love is desperately needed. And as we dig our way out of months 4 and 5, a new video is in order.
I do not try to "paint a pretty picture" with our adoption stories. They really are as miraculous and overall positive as our blog portrays. But this is real life. These are real kids. And parenting is really hard. It is okay to acknowledge and share how hard the beginning months of adoption are.
Do we love our son? Absolutely. No doubts. No questions. I have heard many adoptive parents say they struggle to feel love for their adopted child when challenges come up in the beginning months. This is my boy. I love him more than life. All 4 of our other kiddos have claimed Ty as their brother. Ty claims Brad and I as mom and dad. And he is, in all ways, our son.
Are we glad we added our 5th child to our family? Even in the chaos I can say 100% yes. We are adjusting. It is hard. But I would never go back or change a thing. We have all grown so much and learned things we would never have known without Ty. He is making us better parents, better siblings, and a better family.
Are we having fun and enjoying this experience? It should be obvious in pictures, but the answer is undoubtably yes! One of the reasons this is an exhausting experience is because we are swinging from amazing "perfect" moments back into reality every day. The reality is we have a lot of work to do. We are learning to guide our son through his past and show him where he fits now. It takes a lot of effort. So to go from the high of all of our adventures immediately back into the reality of still being on the battle field is best described as tiring.
So, is this in any way easy? Umm, capital N-O. Parenting 5 children (adopted or not) is not easy. It is not always positive. We don't often get it right the first (or 12th) time. In fact, many times Brad and I go to bed saying, "It's a good thing we get to try that again tomorrow." We are a major work in progress.
There are many reasons the past weeks have been challenging, and I will likely make another post soon, but this post is about celebrating 6 months home with our boy. So here's the latest:
- Ty lost his first tooth at home! He didn't make that big of a deal out of it. Until his sister told him about the tooth fairy. Sigh. We have the worst tooth fairy ever. I don't know why my kids even put up with her. It takes days to finally see the magic of the tooth being replaced by a shiny coin. Amber told Ty the fairy has to walk a long distance to make it to our house. Ha! Our fairy is apparently wingless. But, to say there was excitement over this experience is an understatement.
-Since we arrived home from Utah all we have heard about from Ty is his birthday. Ty will be 7 this week. I am not sure if the Christmas experience caused extra interest in his birthday or what. But I will actually be glad when this week is over. Maybe we will finally hear about something other than his birthday. "I want a spider man cake for my birthday." "What will you buy me for my birthday?" "Can _____ come to my birthday?""In China I no have birthday." "How many days to my birthday?" "Why we only have one birthday a year?" "Why birthday not every day?" "Mom, when it my birthday you bring donuts to school for my class." EVERYONE knows his birthday is in 10 days, 8 days, 7 days, 5 days, the day after tomrrow. Because it is the first thing out of his mouth everywhere he goes. I'm glad he is excited. But I might be ready to celebrate the 364 days until his next birthday.
-Ty loves to sing. Unfortunately he does not know the words to most songs he is singing. It does not stop him. He just opens his mouth and tries to make noise. It makes everyone else in the car a little crazy. But some day this will be one of those "do you remember when" stories.
-Ty's reading is really coming along. He has finally started asking to be read to and will hold still for an enitre book on occasion. I have been encouraging him to read the sight words and simple words he can sound out in his homework. He is very proud of his new found ability.
Six months. I can't believe it has already been six months.
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