Two Months home

Two months feels a lot more like three months with Justin. It feels like he is on a slightly faster track than his brothers were. I think it is because of age and language acquisition. He is further along in the process of adjustment than Jacob and Ty were. In some ways this is a huge advantage. But I am leery of that 4th month slap-in-the-face that came with the first two boys. Here's hoping that part of the adjustment will be faster and easier for Justin too...

Milestones:

-Justin finally trusts me to do his laundry! (It's funny the things you celebrate after adoption) I am relieved to see enough pairs of underwear in the wash to signify he is changing daily now. TMI, I know, but it's one of those funny details I want to remember later. No more hand-washed underwear drying on the foot of his bed. He has figured out he doesn't need to ask for his laundry to be done or make special accommodations for it. He can put the clothes in the hamper just like everyone else and they will indeed make it back to him fresh and clean without being stolen or otherwise disappearing.

A typical nap time in the Krinke home. Littles watching movies, bigs watcing kindles. Whatever gets the mama a moment of quiet...

-Justin's English is really improving. He is very proud of his abilities. Next we will work on humility... just kidding. He loves the response he gets when people ask where he learned English and he says, 'here.' It's a slight embellishment as he was taking an English class in school in Ukraine. But he tells me all the time, "Mom, they only tell me 'table,' 'chair,' 'apple.' This is not speaking English it is only words. I learn to speak here."

-We have moved through several of the same stages Ty and Jacob went through including the testing of responses to injury and sickness. Justin knows how to fake him some illness and injury. I remember the Susan Lucci days from Ty. It is tricky business proving to a child you will actually be there when they need you. No need for dramatics. Once Justin discovered I am wiser than he thought he confessed his stories of working the school staff to get out of classes or chores. Yeah, I know.

I love this dog. She just keeps welcoming kids into her pack and loving them like the mama-dog she is. Justin seems to like her too...

-Justin's eating habits are beginning to settle. He is starting to tell me when he doesn't like something. He is trusting that there will always be other options later and we are seeing him pick and choose his foods rather than clearing everything before him. As with Ty and Jacob, we have a long way to go to break old habits and refine some dining manners. But Justin is leaps and bounds ahead of his brothers so it feels less pressing.

Just 7 days worth of fruit in our house. If I put the week's worth of vegetables on the counter too I would have a complete produce isle.

-Justin is discovering school is not actually as easy as he thought it would be. But he is also beginning to accept the support around him. Justin has told me repeatedly, "School in America is so different. Everyone helping. Everyone nice. Eleven and Twelve grades no hitting. No hurt each other." He loves to point out to me the older kids in his school and say, "This boy is twelve grade and he is nice to me. Friends to me." He always says it with a tone of disbelief. Justin is also realizing that Brad and I can and actually will help him with school assignments. Just tonight he told me, "Dad is very good job, mom. Very helping." This too seems to come from disbelief. Not only are mom and dad capable, we are willing to be actively involved. We care if he is struggling.

-Justin is learning some new social skills and awareness. He has told Brad and I both when someone around us is using foul language. We are pleased to see that, at least for now, he agrees that it is a poor behavior choice. He is picking up on American-teen mannerisms and slang. And the other day he learned that when a friend comes and knocks on the door it is perfectly normal in America to just hang out and have a conversation for a few minutes. He asked us in disbelief, "In America someone knocks on door and you just say hello and to talk? No one teach me this in Ukraine." Welcome to America, son.

-The honeymoon glow is beginning to fade. The clothes are getting left out, the bed is being left unmade, Justin no longer shows up at the breakfast table in time to eat before school trying to squeeze out every last minute of sleep possible. But these are all such great indications of trust and comfort sinking in. This boy knows his clothing and possessions will not be stolen anymore. He doesn't have to be perfect to be accepted. There will always be more food. Always. And home is a safe place to just be who you are.

Life is good. Even after the honeymoon.