When it hurts

Sometimes, being a mom hurts. Like when you have to hold your baby (or toddler, or kindergartener) while a nurse administers vaccines. Or when you see your child falling but can't stop them and you can almost feel the skinned knees and hands with them. Or when you hear your first grader bite down on a loose tooth during lunch and there's nothing you can do to help the tears other than say, "It will come out soon."

Other times watching our child's discomfort is even harder. Because sometimes we are the ones who have to cause the discomfort. Jacob has a new little challenge and to help, I have to be the bad guy.

Several weeks ago a friend of ours mentioned Jacob walks on his toes (not something I thought was a big deal) and we could do some stretches to help. So, I started stretching his little calves a couple times a day. I was surprised to find how hard it was to stretch him, his muscles were SO unusually strong and tight. And his toe walking seemed to get worse not better. He began dragging his toes and tripping constantly. So I mentioned my observation to his pediatrician last week. We decided it would be a good thing to have a closer look with a specialist in Physical Therapy.

I'm so glad I went. Our first attempt to help his little legs will be more stretches (turns out I was only doing half the needed therapy). But, because he fights the stretches so much and is so incredibly strong, we will return in 2 weeks to see if we need to try a more intense approach.

I know what you're thinking: "My son/nephew/friend's son/neighbor/grandson/stranger in the park walked on his toes when he was little and it was no big deal. Jacob will just grow out of it right?" Again, our son's upbringing in an orphanage changes the equation. His ankles are not currently able to flex in a normal range of motion because the muscles and tendons have not developed properly. No matter how hard I push, his ankle cannot flex beyond a neutral 90 degrees. This means that the muscles in his lower legs are not developing evenly and his joints are becoming weak.

What's that got to do with the orphanage? When a baby spends extended amounts of time lying on their back their toes naturally point down. Orphanages typically use play equipment like walkers to get children into vertical play. Because the baby does not need to support their own weight they typically move about with their toes pointed which further encourages toe walking. As their little bodies grow the muscles and tendons naturally become shorter and shorter because they are not being stretched. This means that Jacob cannot walk and bend down normally and will not just do it on his own later. We have to lengthen the muscles and tendons first.

So for the next two weeks we are trying frequent (almost constant) stretches to see if he gets worse or better. But its not as easy as it sounds 'cause stretching hurts. You know that feeling the day after a physical challenge? The stiffness? The sore muscles? Jacob's lower legs feel like that every time I stretch him. And while we adults can feel a sense of release in a good stretch, Jacob only feels the discomfort of the stiffness.

I'm the one who has to stretch him. Many times a day. And while I try to make it fun by singing songs and playing with toys or sneaking it in during snack in the high chair, strapping into or out of the car seat, or even just in mommy's arms walking into the grocery store, he is a smart little monkey and knows exactly what I'm up to. His patience for my distractions and games is running out. It stinks being the bad guy...