When we arrived home from China our boys' "flexible routine" had shifted by about an hour later into the day. It worked nicely with catching up on jet lag. And Ty fell into our family routine so seamlessly I just stuck with the later bedtime and enjoyed everyone sleeping in.
The last 3 days Jacob has been waking far too early. And today Ty was the first one up long before he should have been. My first alert is always sleep disturbances so my radar was bleeping before the day even began.
During our morning walk I noticed Ty struggling with control issues. If Drew's bike tire was even one tread ahead of his he could just not handle it.
Jacob has been rocking, bumping, thumb sucking, humming, and even grinding his teeth the past couple days. And today on the morning walk his need to rock and hum was unstoppable.
I noticed today that Ty was seeking solitude. He has discovered that Amber will gladly lay in her bed quietly with him and she does not try to speak to him in English. She will play his little charades game without whispering a sound. Every time we were home today Ty would walk to her bedroom door and motion for her to follow. And there they would stay quietly playing with an occasional giggle. I noticed the two of them holding hands several times today. And during movie time they actually snuggled up next to each other on the couch. This is all very sweet, but very unusual for Ty. And so my radar continued to bleep.
Usually Ty will stop pushing for control if I remind him that, "this is my job," or if I simply ask him to stop. Today it was a constant process of reminding and redirecting. He wanted to deal the cards, he wanted to strap the baby into the car seat, he wanted to do the dishes, he wanted to distribute the food. All day he was under my feet trying desperately to be in control of something. It sounds so helpful and thoughtful, until you put adoptive mommy glasses on.
This evening Jacob was being tickled by his sister and he responded with a bite. This was not an act of malice or anger. He was so overstimulated by tickling he felt out of control. He was laughing away, happy as can be and just rolled toward Amber's stomach and chomped down. He has not struggled with biting before. But the teeth grinding is another hint that he needs an outlet and his mouth is releasing some of that energy.
It may seems strange but I feel such relief today. Not living in reality makes dealing with reality when it happens really hard. My boys need to cope with the changes that are happening AGAIN in their lives. Both Jacob and Ty need this reality. They need to acknowledge the change. They need to indicate to us that they are feeling it. And they need to be taught appropriate ways to cope.
Seeing these issues start to surface is so wonderful because it means we are already beginning to progress.
Now, just so you know today was not a bad day by any means, here is a little proof we are still having the time of our lives together:
After our morning bike ride the sprinklers happened to be on. So I ran through them. Ty seemed surprised, but then gladly followed.
After morning chores we packed up and drove to a neighboring town to visit a splash park. Unfortunately, our town's splash parks are not operating this season because of drought. With temperatures reaching 106 today we were greatful the neighbors are!
These two were inseparable today.
I couldn't sneak a picture of them snuggling on the couch, but they moved to the floor soon after.
Ice cream for dessert tonight and playing at the Carl's Jr indoor play area:
Ty does not like being messy. We are trying to change his opinion.
But he LOVES ice cream. And there is nothing that will change that opinion.
Jacob loves ice cream too...
But he thinks being messy is kind of cool.
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