This has been a tough day for Drew. He has been so excited all week I thought we might sail through the whole "new baby" adjustment better than expected. But, reality is setting in for my recently de-throned baby. He has been asking about everything Jacob does and is not happy with the fact that some things are only for the baby. Especially the pacifier. I am pretty sure that darn pacifier that Jay is not really even interested in has caused quite a problem for my 'big boy'. You see, Drew was my most addicted child when it came time to let the paci go. He still asks about where it went and now that Jacob has one he is not happy to find that they still exist and are back in his home.
Drew now has to ask about every toy I get out for Jacob to play with, "Is that mine, Mama?" I have tried "no", "it's for everyone to play", and "you can play with it too", and any number of other ways to say it doesn't really matter who it belongs to. And if the answer is anything but yes it is immediately followed by, "why?"
Drew is increasingly bothered by the fact that he is "too big" to play in the walker, "to big" to jump in the jumper, and "to big" for a pacifier. His response has now become, "I don't want to be big anymore."
This is all exactly what I expected from my more-than-babied-baby. Remember, I thought Drew was my last child, my last baby, my only boy. He and I have been pretty tight for the past 3 and a half years. And, while Drew is still thrilled to have a baby brother and proud to be the big brother, not being the 'baby' anymore is starting to sink in.
Today Drew has been getting into a lot of trouble. He's playing too rough with his own toys, being too wild and not settling down when asked, breaking "rules" that he has long known and respected. But his little world came to an end this afternoon during our walk. Drew, for one reason or another, broke a cardinal rule that he has never dared to break: he failed to stop and wait at the corner and rode his plasma car into the street. I was just far enough behind him that I could not interfere. Jacob gave me quite a look when he heard me yell for the first time ever. Drew immediately stopped and rode back to the sidewalk. He had to leave his car there on the random neighbor's lawn and walk for the remainder of our loop. We picked up the car on the way back and Caity carried it home. There were many tears. And our entire afternoon was permanently altered.
Finally Drew settled down after I had gotten Jay down for nap so I went in to talk to him. We had already covered the whole "never ride into the street" and what the consequences were for making a bad choice: his plasma car is on a time out for the next couple days and he will have to walk rather than ride something on our daily walks and show me he can stop at the corners and hold my hand to cross again.
I asked him if he knew that I loved him? Yes. I asked if he loved me? Yes. I asked why he was so sad today. He couldn't tell me why. But I already know. It's hard not being the baby anymore...
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