Scared

I am not a clumsy person. In fact, I often surprise myself with the ability to avoid disasters and close calls. But I will admit having 4 loud whiny children home from school this morning all by myself was starting to get to me. Somehow I managed to loose my focus at just the wrong moment and drop a stack of dinner plates while trying to lift them into the overhead cupboard. The entire household froze after the deafening crash and mushroom cloud of broken glass spread all throughout the family room, kitchen, and dining nook. We all stood there in a state of shock. I literally had to stare at my counter blankly for a minute or two to try and figure out what had just happened.

Once I snapped out of it I went into protective mommy mode. Baby- safe in the playpen. Drew and girls- thankfully playing just outside the perimeter of glass and quickly shooed away to the bedrooms. Dogs- standing in the middle of the broken glass sniffing the remnants of the plates, great. I managed to get the dogs in their crates before paws were injured.

Once all living creatures were contained I started cleaning up the broken glass and noticed out of the corner of my eye Jacob was rocking and sucking his thumb in the playpen. Now that he is familiar with all the toys he will start to do a little rocking or thumb sucking once he is bored. But this seemed a little intense. I tried to use my soothing mommy voice to tell him I'd be done in just a minute. Usually he will look at me when I talk to him. His non-response made me realize something else was going on here.

It dawned on me that he was scared. Of course he was scared! Feeling stupid I reached down and picked him up to comfort him. He arched his back and fussed. My 10 years of experience was telling me to cuddle him and speak softly to calm him down. But my new adoption perspective kicked in and I realized he could not accept direct comfort. He didn't know how.

So there I stood again, staring off and just standing there wondering what I needed to do. I decided to try what we have learned helping Amber through overwhelming sensory situations and just trusted my gut. I turned him away from my face, sat down on the couch and held him firmly. His body immediately relaxed so I started to gently squeeze his feet and rub his legs. After about a minute I progressed to softly rubbing his back at which point he looked at my face and began to smile. So we switched to a snuggle and had a few minutes of quiet face time. Phew, my happy baby was back.

This was the first time I had ever seen Jacob scared. It is such a strange feeling to have to approach comfort for my child from a completely different place then before. Ten years of experience suddenly feels very small. Although without it I would have been completely lost. This is such an interesting and out-of-the-box experience. I am so grateful for the perspective Amber's challenges have given me. Not sure how I would have tried to sooth Jay without the knowledge of sensory struggles and overload. Thanks for the experience, Little Bee!